I haven't talked much about makeup in here and I'm not sure I am going to yet. I read about makeup and find out what the very best products are for me, what the best techniques are, and I use them...and then at that point, I'm done and don't really want to elaborate on it... I already worry I wasted my time as it was. Though I'd excitedly talk to someone in real life about what works for us or what we like, I really haven't had much interest in blogging about it. So we will see, but it may not happen. It's funny, I actually do get excited about those things, but I think to blog about it makes it feel as if it's something that I care a lot about, and honestly, it's not the thing I care the most about. I am a little fascinated as to how those beauty bloggers balance spending so much time on makeup, and then are still able to motivate on what's really important in life. I suppose because it's enjoyable and makes them money. Something I should try. Maybe I should make two separate blogs.
I am feeling a bit shellish today. I know that I am a progressive person, but yesterday I posted something on a social media site that I had complete confidence in, only to wake up at 5:40 am and take it down. It made me realize that I have a lot of learning to do. I still have confidence in the post and would gladly keep it up if I weren't so stirred up by the idea of people might get the wrong impression of me from it. Something I rarely ever worry about, but this was a new level for me. Oh well. And I'm glad those who saw it, saw it. But it's down now, and that knot in my chest is gone, and I can go about my day without worrying about it. C'est la vie. I learned I'm still conquering some shyness and that I'm not the bravest person in the world. I'll keep trying. And it's just a dumb social media website.
If you're wondering what I posted... well, I'm not sharing that here, but it's not a big deal at all. Secrecy tends to make things seem like a bigger deal than they are. The nature of humanity, take something away and we want to know more about it. Well, that doesn't mean that it is actually that important or relevant, though it was obviously interesting. I think it'd be really stupid to make it a big deal, and that's exactly why I posted it on the social media site. That's why I post everything I do on there. I don't expect that same maturity level from other humans though-- I guess I need to weigh that in more often than I have been. Sometimes, that's impossible though because I enjoy teaching people, when I feel they're open-minded enough, rather than to silently tolerate ignorance. I guess I just need to balance out, okay, is debating this going to cause me a lot of stomach aches? I'm human and I'm young, and I'm still not strong about everything. Sometimes it is just nice to be quiet and listen to others and enjoy peace, whilst still holding your own, of course...I totally get that. And many people I meet in real life aren't worth discussing these things with. It's just nice to listen and enjoy the world around you, often, and the person around you, who may not be so open-minded but is at least different from you and can teach you something new, as I've said before.
I think what causes me the most pain is the worry that people think I am trying to start arguments when in reality I'm trying to have pleasant, depthful conversations where everyone, myself included, learns and grows. I don't care whether it's on a dumb social media website, why waste my time being somewhere where I interact with other humans whom I care about, if I can't be real? I don't believe in ass-kissing just because I am on the internet. I keep it real because life is short. Really short. I feel like the time is flying by. To be cautious and silent about what one is passionate about is to repress who you are. I refuse to do that. (Most of the time anyway. Read on...)
Forenote: In the work place, obviously I won't be having depthful conversations or talking about anything controversial, unless it's some sort of Opinion column in a paper, or writing novels, or something along those lines (not out of the question). But I'll be getting paid for that.
I guess what I am trying to say here, is that there is a balance I hold when it comes to sharing my beliefs. I choose the right times, I choose the right people, people who are open-minded and interested, and I do it when and where I feel comfortable with it. In an instance where I choose to share, I don't back
down just because someone disagrees with me, but I always try to be
pleasant about it. I think we all should do this. Don't submit to
something, just listen with an open mind and then share your belief, no
matter how different it is. If the person is closed-minded, don't waste your time sharing your opinion with them, because they won't have anything beneficial to share into the conversation. It doesn't mean that you like what they say. Maybe your opinions are too different for it to be worth debating because things will get firey. Or sometimes, it's okay to just smile at someone and change the subject because frankly, they're just (hopefully momentarily) being an idiot. I think certain people are only capable of so many different thought processes. We just have to accept that some are not going to have mature conversations right now, or even ever in their lives. We can't expect the standards we hold of ourselves from the people around us. I think this is a monumental flaw that most of us carry, to an extent. We are all so different, have different intelligence levels, and so why should our expectations of how a person should be, which really somewhat matches our capabilities (let's be honest), interfere with how nice of a time we have with them? Sometimes people really can't help how they are and we just have to accept that.
However, that does not mean you have to hang out with someone you don't enjoy being around. It just means you can be pleasant around them and try to make them feel good, and still totally disagree with their values. You don't say, "I agree," when you don't agree. Change the subject. Go around it. Hold your own if they confront you, in a kind manner. Why shame or belittle someone because they can't measure up to what you want in a person? That's not right. Let's spread the happiness and the love!! And then move on and go talk to who you actually want to talk to.
Just my thoughts on that, I am really tired and feel like this whole entry is so sub-par. I may edit it later and I'll write that I have edited this entry here, at the bottom of it, if I do.
Edited at 12:50PM, 8/23/14.
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