Loss

Loss is a life lesson that we all eventually go through.  It's difficult to address loss, and--obviously--is a commonly avoided subject.  The idea of losing loved ones, or even losing acquaintances, can seem unfathomable, at least until death happens.  And then it does and it's a slap in the face.  The wondering--what you could have done--and you suffer loss, not only for the person, but for all the time you could have spent with them.  Then on top of that, you also realize things that you never thought you'd realize, like, how silly you were for having any judgments of that person, how wrong you were for thinking things about them that absolutely should have no bearing on the goodness of their soul.  Anything stupid that you may have thought about that person suddenly appears, even if it might not have been as big of a deal as what you are making it now. Left raw, open, and exposed, for you to clean up like dust underneath a shelf that got moved to another part of the room.  But you realize most of your initial worries after losing a loved one were silliness, the product of the anxiety and grief such an event can create.  And, sometimes they aren't.  In any case, we all must find our own way to move on, and like everything else in life, no two paths are the same.

Each person we meet has a clock with a timer on it, and we don't know what day that timer is going to stop.  Appreciate the fact that they are around, give them a smile, give them encouragement, because we have no idea what they are going through or if/when we will see them again.  We all experience pain.  We are never ever alone in our pain, and in fact, we are just as alone in our happiness, yet we feel as if we are alone in our pain because most of us are too afraid to share it.  It's still a cultural taboo we need to overcome.  A taboo that, if overcame, would benefit a lot of people who feel unnecessarily isolated.  Unhappiness is the nature of living in a world full of expectations, human rights issues, unpredictability and instability.  Happiness is the ability to see past all that, the ability to get yourself out of situations that aren't good for you, and to not take what is truly meaningful and right in front of us for granted.  That includes not taking for granted the people around us, the ones we love and the ones we hardly know, with the knowledge that life is short.

Furthering on happiness, as it is a very relevant topic when we discuss death, mostly for the people who have to recover from their loss of a loved one, but also in situations where someone has passed before their time--We all deserve to be happy.  But it isn't handed to us on a silver platter.  Tragedy is inevitable for everyone.  Happy things are also inevitable for everyone, but we have to take the time to appreciate them.  Wealthy or poor, in sickness or in health, happiness is absolutely something every person on earth must work for.  It's earned like wages.  And often, you've got to wade through a bunch of crap in order to get to it, but it's always worth it.

I have been shocked by death of an acquaintance who I thought was an incredibly happy, wonderful light in this world.  We never know what is going on in people's lives, and often their behavior shows no reflection of the truth.  Some people show their emotions, some are talented at hiding them.  A happy person's mental state and/or personal lives could be falling apart just as much as someone who is unhappy.  Someone who has the popular 'goal lifestyle' could be miserable, someone with an unpopular, even difficult way of living could be absolutely thrilled.  Things are not always as they seem.  We all take joy from different things.  This is why more than ever, we should value making people around us feel good, even if they are not behaving the most kindly.  You have no idea what's going on behind closed doors, no idea how the way you treat them could affect the quality of their day, affect their choices, affect positive outcomes.  And while in all likelihood, your words as a stranger will be forgotten, it does not hurt to try to be positive at the right times.  Respect is a right for every creature in this world.

Appreciate the beauty of truly kind people.  Embrace and encourage other people's happiness.   You never know when your opportunity to do that will be gone.  Life goes by incredibly fast.  Relish it, make it a priority to have your moments with people.  You never know when someone is going to be gone and you can't put a smile on their face anymore.  You never know how something little you do could change someone's life.  Just some thoughts!! :)  I think we all get too wrapped up in the little and forget to focus on the big, even if we've thought to before, there's just a lot of crap to wade through and distract us!! ;)

Take care guys :)
--L

PS:  I think the only time I mention I love songs on here, they're probably by Coldplay...but I really like their new song called Hymn For The Weekend.  It's beautiful!!!

Aging and My Three Reasons Why I Think It's Not A Big Deal...Self-Growth

(First of all, I didn't mean to make this post around certain loved ones of mine's birthdays.  That's sheer coincidence and I just realized this about 35 min into writing the entry.  This entry is not directed to anyone at all, and is meant to be helpful, fun, and insightful for anyone who stumbles upon it, just like every other entry I've ever written in the blog).

HI party people!!!  (I'm only saying that because it sounds so ridiculous here and my sense of humor is kind of to put things/say things in situations where they completely don't seem to go!  I hear several grasshoppers in the difference, some mouse-clicks over some X's, and I can almost feel the glaring scowls at the computer screen right now...but I don't care, you're going to have to deal with my unique sense of humor, because it's here to stay.)

I have had some time and with time... I GET TO THINK.  And with my thoughts...comes DANGEROUS proportions.

Well, blog entries. :)  Although I prefer to imbue (imbue!!!!  HAH!!  My favorite word...it sounds so funny!!!  I'm sure that was out of context, but I just felt the need to use the word imbue) this blog as a Professional Journal without all the boredom/scientific terms/repetitiveness in my head.

I hope I don't sound like one of those generic youtubers (of which I've been studying way too many for makeup-learning-purposes for my job [OKAY AND for personal enjoyment] etc, etc.  I hope they aren't rubbing off on me!  Why do so many always start and end their videos the same way?  And endorse things the same ways?  Is it just a comfort-zone thing?)

OMG.  *Slaps own wrist*  Time to get with the program. (Considers deleting all of the above.  But of course I won't because...I don't have to! :)  I love that about this thing)



Working sort of in the doorway (well maybe like 8 inches AWAY from the doorway...but still NEAR the doorway) of the beauty industry (as a cashier lol), I've been thinking a lot lately about aging.  And of course because it is MY brain, I had to turn innocent skin-care shopping into some sort of philosophical concept.  Anyway, we all know this already, but clearly...blah blah...there's a lot of dread having to do with age.

But I don't think there has to be! :)

First of all:

.5)  Gray hair is BEAUTIFUL.  I just found my first five or six gray hairs the other day.  They are all rather short, like they all decided to just grow in and decide to be gray a few weeks ago.  'Oh hello there Lyza, we are gray now, just decided a couple weeks ago, what's up!?'  But they're really sparkly and silvery, which I rather like.  And as long as we keep it healthy, I don't see how it's this horrible thing... if you keep your hair as soft and shiny as possible, what's wrong with gray hair?  Dye it if you want...but I don't think it's something to be ashamed of.  (Why did I put this as number one, like it's so important??  Please keep reading...hope I haven't lost anybody :P )

1)  Every year, you get a bit wiser, a bit more comfortable with yourself, and a bit more intolerant to bullshit.  Situations dealing with other people, time thinking to yourself, and thinking about how to handle these situations for the future simply does this to you naturally.  Time does this.  Time creates comfort in places that were new--life--and comfort allows you to be more open and honest about how you're really feeling.  Time also allows you to be comfortable expressing when you're uncomfortable.  You realize--I don't HAVE to feel bad about the opinions I am forming because someone told me I should.  I feel this way based on the knowledge I accrued over time, and it makes a lot of sense that I feel this way.  And because of that logic, you can feel proud expressing the thoughts you have, be they positive or negative.  Even if they are wrong every once in a while--you can feel comfortable expressing your thoughts and comfortable negotiating different opinions and accepting when you are wrong--that is true maturity--and I know plenty of people of all ages, old or young, who are terrible at doing that, but it's part of self-growth and being a good person.  I can't wait to see the Lyza I am ten years from now-because she sure is kicking it now.  I'm thinking I'm about to be a B.O.S.S.  Are you too?

I have heard that our mental stamina is at it's height in our mid-twenties...never to reach it's peak again.  However, mid-twenties is still very young.  It may be at it's height, but who is to say it is being put to good use?  Everyone is a little different, everyone matures differently and I don't think that our supposed "mental decline," has to be so dramatic.  We can NOT however, use our aging as an excuse to evade personal growth and still take true pride in who we are.  We all know people who do this.  If you want to truly be a decent person, you have to be compassionate for others, accept when you are wrong, and be open-minded to new ideas (last one being the hardest as our physical brains do lose plasticity, and therefore lose the ability to be open-minded, as we age...which is why I believe the terrible human traditions, are/have been so hard to break!).

My advice on your brain losing plasticity:  The BEST thing you can do for your mental health is to make it a practice to be open-minded--every single day of every year.  Put changing things up into practice--don't get too caught up in any routine and always allow yourself to hear opinions different from your own.  It probably won't eradicate the problem--but it could only help.

2)  Every year, you get better at knowing what you want, and how to say no to the things that you don't want.  It seems pretty base--knowing what you want, but it's actually kind of hard to really know everything about what you want, at any age, because there's so many choices to be made about so many different things, that we can't really know until we attempt to make these choices, learn more about what we are about to do, or have the wisdom to know that certain things we are being advised to do simply aren't logical for us.

 I had no idea I would hate college when I started it at age 18 or that it was corrupt for my elders at school to pressure us all to make such an impacting financial choice at such a young, impressionable age.  I had no idea that some of my strengths would include being good at reading people, understanding situations, and problem-solving.  I had no idea most of the people making others unhappy are unhappy themselves.  And no idea how to handle those people when push comes to shove.  I had no idea sometimes people stick to a terrible opinion just out of pride, and not because there's any real logic to it.  5 or 6 years ago it was harder for me to separate truth from opinion and to know who was selfish, who was well-meaning but wrong, and who was just using poor logic and needed an upgrade.  I had no idea about tons of things just 5 or 6 years ago.  But now that I know these things--I am standing at the tip of the iceberg on my life--on what I want, what will make me happy, and how I will and do handle situations when things inevitably get tough.  And my logic makes me 100% comfortable standing up for my beliefs when someone disagrees with me.  Beliefs should be formed through logical argument--not through others but through your own trains of thought and your own desire to be a good person.  We're NOT going to be good at everything and we're NOT going to get everything right because we're human and part of maturity is accepting that and being able to be fine with it.  ALSO--what makes you happy may NOT make someone else happy.  But, when you know what the HELL you want for your own life and your own happiness, and you have good foundations for your beliefs--even if you have to be tough on people at first because they want you to be a different way--you make yourself and you make the world a better, more accepting and balanced place for everyone.  That's just what the simple combination of logic, truth, and happiness does.  It starts a chain-reaction of positivity--as long as you act on it.  As time goes on, you do get better at putting yourself in a place where you are happier because of what you'll inevitably learn about yourself, and that's the wonderful thing about aging.

3.)  Life gets easier when you know what you want and know how to act on it.  I'm not saying you won't have as many or more problems than you do now, when you are older.  But, when you're not like a lost baby bird, it certainly does help.  Experience does bring about a certain calm on things that may have totally daunted you when you first started on them.  It's like any new job... For instance, doing the loud-speaker announcements at my job used to give me terrible nerves...now I am actually excited to do them.  You also learn how to pull yourself out of situations that are not right for you or good for you, which can be difficult all in it's own for some people, especially if you don't realize that they're not right.  Hard things become easy...every new thing becomes a new opportunity, to scare yourself, to challenge yourself, and to realize that was scary to you in the past is actually not a big deal at all.  So things in a way get easier--mainly because you know how to handle them better--that's the nature of experience.


ThankYOU. :)

That's all for now, I hope I helped, and I hate writing conclusion paragraphs.


EDIT:  I'm re-reading this and I know some of my wording comes off as really hilarious...almost like a parody and not like something to be taken seriously (example:  "...What the HELL you want..."  I didn't want to professionalize this entry... I just wanted it to come off how I would say it in person, and a lot of times my intention is to make people laugh in addition to teaching them something.  I have a very sarcastic sense of humor that I like to mix in on occasion when I feel I'm making a strong point, but read out loud I'm thinking this could sound kind of ridiculous.  Hopefully the entry helped you in some way and I'm editing this like crazy today (just the day it was posted...it'll be completely final tomorrow...this is how I always do this).  I need to stop submitting my entries so early.  Most of the time they come out fantastically, but today's was a little jumbled and I should have waited before submitting it!!!

You Could Analyze Something To Death

September 8th??  September 8th was REALLY the last time I blogged?!  So it's been 3 weeks.  Time really, really flies guys.  It doesn't matter what I am doing.  I just feel like I'm going to be 100 tomorrow.  I thought I'd blogged last a week ago!!  Are you the same?  I remember, as a kid, time used to feel like waiting for a turtle to lick up a puddle of molasses... Now I savor every moment because I feel they are disappearing like tiny grains of surface sand on a windy day.  And maybe that's the point of this blog in a way... to focus on what's big to you, because the little disappears.

Was doing some research for my other blog, and was inspired by gradients.  When one color fades into a different color, so seamlessly it almost looks like the two could be one uniform shade.  And they could, if you backed away far enough.
I wanted to compare how an artist's gradient looked from farther away to how it looked very close up, and when I saw the close-up, it occurred to me I could see the lines of blending.  It did not look seamless.  But then it occurred to me, if I could fix the imperfections and unblended lines at the close-up, and was able to get an even larger close-up of the corrected close-up, you would still see more lines of blending.  No matter how much you, "fix," something, the closer you get to it, the more imperfections you will see, down to the microscopic level.  Until you can get to the tiniest point of existence, perfection does not exist.

So, you could spend a life-time trying your darndest to get the most, "perfect," thing, look the most, "perfect," way...Please notice, I often quote (or sometimes first-letter-capitalize) the words I don't stand by.
And when you had that perfect mesh of what you believe you're supposed to have, that gradient that may as well be one object, what have you?

Well, you have something that looks very nice.

Whether it holds moral value to you is another subject entirely.

Everything you work for, everything you do, none of it truly matters--unless it has moral value to you.  Everything aside from love and happiness are just extras in your life.  And when we keep trying to fix small things, we often are, point-blank, wasting our time.  We, for some reason, are very good at blowing tiny interactions, tiny choices, tiny situations, completely out of proportion.  And because we are giving that petty list of things meaning, whatever the list and whatever the meanings are, we focus on them and forget about what will truly fulfill us.

So when I say, "You Could Analyze Something To Death," in the blog-title, I mean it heartily.  You could analyze all the tiny things that you feel need tweaked until finally, you have no more time left.  In the end, will you appreciate the product of your work more than the experiences that it took to get you to that finished product?

Whether you are at a company balancing moral and sales, or at home balancing your life, this applies to you.  People in your life will always tell you at certain points in the path, that something needs to be tweaked.  You have to make the changes on it that are worthwhile to you.  What will you be proud of more?  How something looks, or the love and happiness you gave to get yourself there?



PS: This blog is my darling.  I love writing in here, and I don't plan to stop making posts.  I'll write in here at least once a month, if not more.  Also, please feel free to ask me questions and give suggestions for topics you'd like me to discuss. :)