Loss

Loss is a life lesson that we all eventually go through.  It's difficult to address loss, and--obviously--is a commonly avoided subject.  The idea of losing loved ones, or even losing acquaintances, can seem unfathomable, at least until death happens.  And then it does and it's a slap in the face.  The wondering--what you could have done--and you suffer loss, not only for the person, but for all the time you could have spent with them.  Then on top of that, you also realize things that you never thought you'd realize, like, how silly you were for having any judgments of that person, how wrong you were for thinking things about them that absolutely should have no bearing on the goodness of their soul.  Anything stupid that you may have thought about that person suddenly appears, even if it might not have been as big of a deal as what you are making it now. Left raw, open, and exposed, for you to clean up like dust underneath a shelf that got moved to another part of the room.  But you realize most of your initial worries after losing a loved one were silliness, the product of the anxiety and grief such an event can create.  And, sometimes they aren't.  In any case, we all must find our own way to move on, and like everything else in life, no two paths are the same.

Each person we meet has a clock with a timer on it, and we don't know what day that timer is going to stop.  Appreciate the fact that they are around, give them a smile, give them encouragement, because we have no idea what they are going through or if/when we will see them again.  We all experience pain.  We are never ever alone in our pain, and in fact, we are just as alone in our happiness, yet we feel as if we are alone in our pain because most of us are too afraid to share it.  It's still a cultural taboo we need to overcome.  A taboo that, if overcame, would benefit a lot of people who feel unnecessarily isolated.  Unhappiness is the nature of living in a world full of expectations, human rights issues, unpredictability and instability.  Happiness is the ability to see past all that, the ability to get yourself out of situations that aren't good for you, and to not take what is truly meaningful and right in front of us for granted.  That includes not taking for granted the people around us, the ones we love and the ones we hardly know, with the knowledge that life is short.

Furthering on happiness, as it is a very relevant topic when we discuss death, mostly for the people who have to recover from their loss of a loved one, but also in situations where someone has passed before their time--We all deserve to be happy.  But it isn't handed to us on a silver platter.  Tragedy is inevitable for everyone.  Happy things are also inevitable for everyone, but we have to take the time to appreciate them.  Wealthy or poor, in sickness or in health, happiness is absolutely something every person on earth must work for.  It's earned like wages.  And often, you've got to wade through a bunch of crap in order to get to it, but it's always worth it.

I have been shocked by death of an acquaintance who I thought was an incredibly happy, wonderful light in this world.  We never know what is going on in people's lives, and often their behavior shows no reflection of the truth.  Some people show their emotions, some are talented at hiding them.  A happy person's mental state and/or personal lives could be falling apart just as much as someone who is unhappy.  Someone who has the popular 'goal lifestyle' could be miserable, someone with an unpopular, even difficult way of living could be absolutely thrilled.  Things are not always as they seem.  We all take joy from different things.  This is why more than ever, we should value making people around us feel good, even if they are not behaving the most kindly.  You have no idea what's going on behind closed doors, no idea how the way you treat them could affect the quality of their day, affect their choices, affect positive outcomes.  And while in all likelihood, your words as a stranger will be forgotten, it does not hurt to try to be positive at the right times.  Respect is a right for every creature in this world.

Appreciate the beauty of truly kind people.  Embrace and encourage other people's happiness.   You never know when your opportunity to do that will be gone.  Life goes by incredibly fast.  Relish it, make it a priority to have your moments with people.  You never know when someone is going to be gone and you can't put a smile on their face anymore.  You never know how something little you do could change someone's life.  Just some thoughts!! :)  I think we all get too wrapped up in the little and forget to focus on the big, even if we've thought to before, there's just a lot of crap to wade through and distract us!! ;)

Take care guys :)
--L

PS:  I think the only time I mention I love songs on here, they're probably by Coldplay...but I really like their new song called Hymn For The Weekend.  It's beautiful!!!

Love and Narcissism

Thanks for visiting if you have managed to find this place :)

I have nothing revolutionary to say right now, but I worry that I'm a narcissist (yeah, we all are to some extent, but I'm worry I'm worse than average).  Was my last entry all about me, me, me?  I hope every thought I come up with is to help others and not simply borne from the fact that I'm trying to comfort my own insecurities.

I toasted some EnerG tapioca bread today and I am pleasantly surprised to say, it makes some good toast... I have had to restrict gluten (I'll still eat it sometimes) recently due to some issues I've been having when I eat a lot of it.  Yeah, not too shabby.  In fact, shockingly, I would say to toast it rather than eat it raw.  It's better that way.  I thought it would turn into croutons or something in there.

Balancing my interests in this blog may be difficult.  I am catering to two entirely different audiences.  Does that make me a complex person?  Iunno.  But anyway, here's two things that I've been wanting of recent:

 

Plan on purchasing both in the future, when the funds are available :)  Valentines day to myself!!!  I actually do NOT like having a lot of jewelry and I already think I have too much, but I've been on this life-search for the perfect heart necklace and this one appears to be exactly everything I want.  It's so beautiful and sparkly and to me, the meaning of the heart symbol just gets down to the core of what life is all about, being happy, making others happy, keeping the world healthy, being honest, spreading love and cheer.  I just adore that, I always try to mantra the word, "Love."  I'm not cheesy about it, but man it makes me happy.  And I'll keep doing what makes me happy.

Hmmm, love and narcissism.  I think the two can tango.  Everyone wants love because everyone needs it and in that, we're kind of narcissistic in believing we deserve it and should have it.  I mean, "true love," especially.  People want a partner to relate to and derive happiness from.  Don't know why we can't just be freaking happy by ourselves, without wanting that, but I don't know one person, myself included, who doesn't want that or wouldn't think that their lives would be somehow improved without that.  I dig deep and I still can't figure out why I can't just enjoy things supremely on my own.  I do enjoy life and joke around by myself a lot more than I think most people do, being a big introvert, but I still would like company from someone I connect to.  I don't understand it.  I don't really think it makes that much sense.  Just enjoy what's around you on your own, don't take it for granted.  You define everything you see, nobody else does, so why does someone else need to be there?  Sometimes I think it's how we're raised.  But then, while I like myself, it does get boring just interacting with myself.  It'd be nice to exchange ideas, etc. (big etc. there, but I don't want to be inappropriate).

I do think people need to just enjoy friends if they can't find that special person, and look around and not take for granted the beauty that's around them.  Life is so gorgeous and wonderful, I think, with or without someone's encouragement.  I'm always savoring the beauty around me, sky, grass, flowers, sun.  People's music, dancing to it, meeting strangers and learning all about people, oh it's so fun, life is meant to be lived!!!!!

Edit: I want to mention that my beloved sister did buy me an absolutely wonderful heart necklace that even has a butterfly on it, another symbol I am totally obsessed with.  I'm so so thankful for it and I love it so much.  The only two sad, pathetic reasons I would ever even dream of having another heart necklace is because the one above will match more outfits, and I enjoy the idea of buying jewelry for myself, but this one she gave me is still irreplaceable and I couldn't be more grateful for it.  Did not mean to exclude that and I apologize.