September 8th?? September 8th was REALLY the last time I blogged?! So it's been 3 weeks. Time really, really flies guys. It doesn't matter what I am doing. I just feel like I'm going to be 100 tomorrow. I thought I'd blogged last a week ago!! Are you the same? I remember, as a kid, time used to feel like waiting for a turtle to lick up a puddle of molasses... Now I savor every moment because I feel they are disappearing like tiny grains of surface sand on a windy day. And maybe that's the point of this blog in a way... to focus on what's big to you, because the little disappears.
Was doing some research for my other blog, and was inspired by gradients. When one color fades into a different color, so seamlessly it almost looks like the two could be one uniform shade. And they could, if you backed away far enough.
I wanted to compare how an artist's gradient looked from farther away to how it looked very close up, and when I saw the close-up, it occurred to me I could see the lines of blending. It did not look seamless. But then it occurred to me, if I could fix the imperfections and unblended lines at the close-up, and was able to get an even larger close-up of the corrected close-up, you would still see more lines of blending. No matter how much you, "fix," something, the closer you get to it, the more imperfections you will see, down to the microscopic level. Until you can get to the tiniest point of existence, perfection does not exist.
So, you could spend a life-time trying your darndest to get the most, "perfect," thing, look the most, "perfect," way...Please notice, I often quote (or sometimes first-letter-capitalize) the words I don't stand by.
And when you had that perfect mesh of what you believe you're supposed to have, that gradient that may as well be one object, what have you?
Well, you have something that looks very nice.
Whether it holds moral value to you is another subject entirely.
Everything you work for, everything you do, none of it truly matters--unless it has moral value to you. Everything aside from love and happiness are just extras in your life. And when we keep trying to fix small things, we often are, point-blank, wasting our time. We, for some reason, are very good at blowing tiny interactions, tiny choices, tiny situations, completely out of proportion. And because we are giving that petty list of things meaning, whatever the list and whatever the meanings are, we focus on them and forget about what will truly fulfill us.
So when I say, "You Could Analyze Something To Death," in the blog-title, I mean it heartily. You could analyze all the tiny things that you feel need tweaked until finally, you have no more time left. In the end, will you appreciate the product of your work more than the experiences that it took to get you to that finished product?
Whether you are at a company balancing moral and sales, or at home balancing your life, this applies to you. People in your life will always tell you at certain points in the path, that something needs to be tweaked. You have to make the changes on it that are worthwhile to you. What will you be proud of more? How something looks, or the love and happiness you gave to get yourself there?
PS: This blog is my darling. I love writing in here, and I don't plan to stop making posts. I'll write in here at least once a month, if not more. Also, please feel free to ask me questions and give suggestions for topics you'd like me to discuss. :)
Showing posts with label ego. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ego. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Monday, September 8, 2014
You're Not Normal, Thank God, So Quit Trying To Act Like It
I can totally relate to people who feel strange and different from everyone else.
I think you can too. Can't admit it?
You have never had times where you felt like you were the only person who felt a certain way about something? Like no one else who you were talking to could relate to it?
You never had a time in your life where what you wanted wasn't what everyone around you wanted? Whether it be out of you or whether it be something that a lot of people want (Like children? A certain career motive? College? Or a puppy? Or even chocolate? *Gasps*)?
Ever laughed at something that nobody else in the room thought was funny?
Or getting down to basics, there isn't some strange food combination that you really like, that nobody else would dare eat?
No?? Goodness, you are really boring......
I know I HAVE felt this way, and may I say I am a little proud of it?
No, I'm actually a LOT proud of it. And you should be too. That's the stuff that makes you interesting. The stuff that people don't expect.
There's nobody I love more than the so-called, "strange," ones. The ones who feel like they don't fit in.
The ones who, in actuality, aren't afraid to behave completely normal. The real normal. The one that is human, has emotions, and isn't afraid to express themselves instead of repress themselves to fit into a man-made category that our ancestors have been imposing on us for hundreds, if not thousands of years.
You see, normalcy is something that we often expect, but we never actually know. It's phony. It's not real. And the unhappiest people of all are those who try to be it--because they consistently fail--and/or--they constantly expect it out of other people, judging them, and generally living a miserable existence full of negativity and hypocrisy.
In my book...you can be happy...or you can be, "normal."
Go live your life!!!!! Parachute or something... Laugh your ass off at something no one else in the room will. You only live once. Live well. Don't put yourself in a box because you are afraid. You'll only trap yourself.
*Laughs*...Sigh...ohhh... "Normal."
It's so overrated.
Have fun :)
I think you can too. Can't admit it?
You have never had times where you felt like you were the only person who felt a certain way about something? Like no one else who you were talking to could relate to it?
You never had a time in your life where what you wanted wasn't what everyone around you wanted? Whether it be out of you or whether it be something that a lot of people want (Like children? A certain career motive? College? Or a puppy? Or even chocolate? *Gasps*)?
Ever laughed at something that nobody else in the room thought was funny?
Or getting down to basics, there isn't some strange food combination that you really like, that nobody else would dare eat?
No?? Goodness, you are really boring......
I know I HAVE felt this way, and may I say I am a little proud of it?
No, I'm actually a LOT proud of it. And you should be too. That's the stuff that makes you interesting. The stuff that people don't expect.
There's nobody I love more than the so-called, "strange," ones. The ones who feel like they don't fit in.
The ones who, in actuality, aren't afraid to behave completely normal. The real normal. The one that is human, has emotions, and isn't afraid to express themselves instead of repress themselves to fit into a man-made category that our ancestors have been imposing on us for hundreds, if not thousands of years.
You see, normalcy is something that we often expect, but we never actually know. It's phony. It's not real. And the unhappiest people of all are those who try to be it--because they consistently fail--and/or--they constantly expect it out of other people, judging them, and generally living a miserable existence full of negativity and hypocrisy.
In my book...you can be happy...or you can be, "normal."
Go live your life!!!!! Parachute or something... Laugh your ass off at something no one else in the room will. You only live once. Live well. Don't put yourself in a box because you are afraid. You'll only trap yourself.
*Laughs*...Sigh...ohhh... "Normal."
It's so overrated.
Have fun :)
Saturday, August 23, 2014
Identification: Closed-Minded Vs. Open-Minded People
In my last entry, I talked about how we should open up to the open-minded and close-off our ideas from the closed-minded. But I never delved into who those people are, or how to identify them, and I think for many people, that can be extremely confusing.
If we can't identify who these people are, we have no way of knowing who to open up to, and if we don't know who to open up to, we could open up to the completely wrong person, only to feel like we just poured our heart out only to get crapped on :) Haha, not a good way to describe?
So here I'll elaborate on what I think an open-minded person is and what I think a closed-minded person is. I have found this to be pretty fool-proof in my life and I hope it helps you too.
Here are some examples, for the more visual learner, I suppose.
(This is a pretty generic, boring conversation in my opinion, one I hate to have and I don't feel is really worthwhile, but it gets the job done, and it's one lots of people have had over and over again. Pretty common conversation for people in their early 20s, so if you're older than that, you can look back and reflect!)
Case 1, Closed-Minded:
"Yes, I do think going out dancing is fun, I absolutely love meeting new people and dancing, it's such a release from every day life and it's great never knowing what is going to happen."
Person looks at you up and down. Then says, "Oh, that's nice. So you drink?"
Here they've bounced from listening to what you said about enjoying going out, to judging you by your appearance by looking at you up and down, which is kind of a red alert. They said, "Oh, that's nice," which means they don't really know how to respond to what you said, either because they don't relate to it or because they don't know how to respond to it at that moment, which is fine. So cautiously continue, don't give any more personal details until you have a more positive receipt...
"No, I don't, do you?"
"Yes, what is wrong with you, why don't you drink?"
The person pretty much ignored everything you said about the freedom and adventure of going out, and decided to motivate on the fact that you don't drink, in addition to judging you by your appearance. Sometimes there will be things that just throw people for a loop, but they're still totally intelligent, awesome people, even with a conversation like this. But if these type of judgmental responses are a trend with the person you are talking to, it is safe to say that they aren't worth your time, or at least are not worth sharing your opinions with. Responding constantly with an nonconstructive criticism or a judgment of what you said is a big red flag that you are wasting your time sharing opinions with them. They don't care about real values, they just want to pick out silly things from the conversation to criticize so they can boost their own egos. It's reflective that they have their own insecurities to solve and are either pretty naive, or not very intelligent. People worth your time are the ones who exchange values with you and respect your differences. They don't nit-pick and judge tiny things over and over again, which is sheer stupidity and a waste of time. Next!!
Case 1, Open-Minded:
"Yes, I do think going out dancing is fun, I absolutely love meeting new people and dancing, it's such a release from every day life and it's great never knowing what is going to happen."
"That sounds like it could be fun, I have never done that before. It's great to take a break from everyday life and allow yourself to have an awesome time. Do you drink when you go out?"
"No, I don't, do you?"
"Yes, but I respect that you don't, it's admirable!! I don't often, but sometimes it is fun."
Here, the person totally validated what you said about having fun, and when you told them you don't drink, they accepted that and didn't judge you for it. They are being open-minded because they're totally fine with what you said and are looking at the big picture. You still don't know each other that well, but so far so good!
I'm done writing cases because I didn't enjoy that :P I used, quite possibly, the most generic conversation in humanity's existence, and for that I apologize, but hopefully it makes it more user-friendly. Now that you have a couple of examples you can actually analyze, let's get to the good stuff.
People who are closed-minded are really just an assortment of negative things. They usually have a quality of believing they're always right about certain issues, and whatever point you make, no matter how good it is, goes in one ear and out the other. They do not address your points logically and soundly. They will continue telling you why they think they are right, over and over again, and don't bother to address why they think each point of yours is wrong.
If this sounds fun to exchange ideas with for you, you are an interesting person, but I think most people can agree that trying to talk to this is a bit like talking to a loudspeaker in a grocery store with no responder button. Your solid argument has absolutely no effect on their opinion whatsoever, and they don't bother to consider the points you have made. They don't want to address your points, they are on an ego-trip and they just want to be right. Things often can escalate with people like this if you do argue with them, because these people feel like you are, 'invading,' on their ego-trip and daring to defy their, 'perfect,' opinions. Often they are just looking for an argument and they do not have any true problem-solving skills. It's truly a waste of time to try with people like this. They absolutely will disappoint you because their consistent belief of their self-righteousness interferes with their ability to grow. So don't waste your time trying to share opinions or pour your heart out with someone who does this. Don't waste your time arguing with them fruitlessly. Walk away. You deserve better.
People who are open-minded can be all sorts of things. They are real people with flaws, but unlike the closed-minded, they acknowledge those flaws and address them. They may not like being wrong, but they are strong enough to face it when they are wrong, and they will consider your opinions and compare them with their own as logically as they are able to. They listen to your points, they listen when you open up to them, and they are okay with accepting your differences. They may argue, they may get a little worked up when you are debating with them, but in the end they know that regardless of your stance on an issue, they can still accept you.
We all get uncomfortable when we disagree with one another sometimes. But part of being mature is figuring out how to accept that someone else has a different view than you, has good points, and be okay with the fact that you believe two different things. I've especially found this to be true in my life in the topic of religion. Sometimes, after a conversation, it's nice to just stop discussing and move on to something else that you do agree on, unless you like to debate or are intrigued by what the person has to say. And you know what, sometimes people just don't relate to each other and can't be friends. That's understandable. But an open-minded person will always consider what your points are and rebut them as logically as they are able to. It is NOT an ego-trip. That is the biggest difference between a closed-minded person and an open-minded one. An open-minded person does NOT take your opinions as a personal attack (unless it's something bigoted of course, like racism, anti-gay people, etc. Then YOU are the closed-minded one for saying something like that.). And isn't exchanging values how you find the people you can be closest to in life? It is absolutely worth it to have these conversations.
So that's my two cents. :)
If we can't identify who these people are, we have no way of knowing who to open up to, and if we don't know who to open up to, we could open up to the completely wrong person, only to feel like we just poured our heart out only to get crapped on :) Haha, not a good way to describe?
So here I'll elaborate on what I think an open-minded person is and what I think a closed-minded person is. I have found this to be pretty fool-proof in my life and I hope it helps you too.
Here are some examples, for the more visual learner, I suppose.
(This is a pretty generic, boring conversation in my opinion, one I hate to have and I don't feel is really worthwhile, but it gets the job done, and it's one lots of people have had over and over again. Pretty common conversation for people in their early 20s, so if you're older than that, you can look back and reflect!)
Case 1, Closed-Minded:
"Yes, I do think going out dancing is fun, I absolutely love meeting new people and dancing, it's such a release from every day life and it's great never knowing what is going to happen."
Person looks at you up and down. Then says, "Oh, that's nice. So you drink?"
Here they've bounced from listening to what you said about enjoying going out, to judging you by your appearance by looking at you up and down, which is kind of a red alert. They said, "Oh, that's nice," which means they don't really know how to respond to what you said, either because they don't relate to it or because they don't know how to respond to it at that moment, which is fine. So cautiously continue, don't give any more personal details until you have a more positive receipt...
"No, I don't, do you?"
"Yes, what is wrong with you, why don't you drink?"
The person pretty much ignored everything you said about the freedom and adventure of going out, and decided to motivate on the fact that you don't drink, in addition to judging you by your appearance. Sometimes there will be things that just throw people for a loop, but they're still totally intelligent, awesome people, even with a conversation like this. But if these type of judgmental responses are a trend with the person you are talking to, it is safe to say that they aren't worth your time, or at least are not worth sharing your opinions with. Responding constantly with an nonconstructive criticism or a judgment of what you said is a big red flag that you are wasting your time sharing opinions with them. They don't care about real values, they just want to pick out silly things from the conversation to criticize so they can boost their own egos. It's reflective that they have their own insecurities to solve and are either pretty naive, or not very intelligent. People worth your time are the ones who exchange values with you and respect your differences. They don't nit-pick and judge tiny things over and over again, which is sheer stupidity and a waste of time. Next!!
Case 1, Open-Minded:
"Yes, I do think going out dancing is fun, I absolutely love meeting new people and dancing, it's such a release from every day life and it's great never knowing what is going to happen."
"That sounds like it could be fun, I have never done that before. It's great to take a break from everyday life and allow yourself to have an awesome time. Do you drink when you go out?"
"No, I don't, do you?"
"Yes, but I respect that you don't, it's admirable!! I don't often, but sometimes it is fun."
Here, the person totally validated what you said about having fun, and when you told them you don't drink, they accepted that and didn't judge you for it. They are being open-minded because they're totally fine with what you said and are looking at the big picture. You still don't know each other that well, but so far so good!
I'm done writing cases because I didn't enjoy that :P I used, quite possibly, the most generic conversation in humanity's existence, and for that I apologize, but hopefully it makes it more user-friendly. Now that you have a couple of examples you can actually analyze, let's get to the good stuff.
People who are closed-minded are really just an assortment of negative things. They usually have a quality of believing they're always right about certain issues, and whatever point you make, no matter how good it is, goes in one ear and out the other. They do not address your points logically and soundly. They will continue telling you why they think they are right, over and over again, and don't bother to address why they think each point of yours is wrong.
If this sounds fun to exchange ideas with for you, you are an interesting person, but I think most people can agree that trying to talk to this is a bit like talking to a loudspeaker in a grocery store with no responder button. Your solid argument has absolutely no effect on their opinion whatsoever, and they don't bother to consider the points you have made. They don't want to address your points, they are on an ego-trip and they just want to be right. Things often can escalate with people like this if you do argue with them, because these people feel like you are, 'invading,' on their ego-trip and daring to defy their, 'perfect,' opinions. Often they are just looking for an argument and they do not have any true problem-solving skills. It's truly a waste of time to try with people like this. They absolutely will disappoint you because their consistent belief of their self-righteousness interferes with their ability to grow. So don't waste your time trying to share opinions or pour your heart out with someone who does this. Don't waste your time arguing with them fruitlessly. Walk away. You deserve better.
People who are open-minded can be all sorts of things. They are real people with flaws, but unlike the closed-minded, they acknowledge those flaws and address them. They may not like being wrong, but they are strong enough to face it when they are wrong, and they will consider your opinions and compare them with their own as logically as they are able to. They listen to your points, they listen when you open up to them, and they are okay with accepting your differences. They may argue, they may get a little worked up when you are debating with them, but in the end they know that regardless of your stance on an issue, they can still accept you.
We all get uncomfortable when we disagree with one another sometimes. But part of being mature is figuring out how to accept that someone else has a different view than you, has good points, and be okay with the fact that you believe two different things. I've especially found this to be true in my life in the topic of religion. Sometimes, after a conversation, it's nice to just stop discussing and move on to something else that you do agree on, unless you like to debate or are intrigued by what the person has to say. And you know what, sometimes people just don't relate to each other and can't be friends. That's understandable. But an open-minded person will always consider what your points are and rebut them as logically as they are able to. It is NOT an ego-trip. That is the biggest difference between a closed-minded person and an open-minded one. An open-minded person does NOT take your opinions as a personal attack (unless it's something bigoted of course, like racism, anti-gay people, etc. Then YOU are the closed-minded one for saying something like that.). And isn't exchanging values how you find the people you can be closest to in life? It is absolutely worth it to have these conversations.
So that's my two cents. :)
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