I have nothing revolutionary to say right now, but I worry that I'm a narcissist (yeah, we all are to some extent, but I'm worry I'm worse than average). Was my last entry all about me, me, me? I hope every thought I come up with is to help others and not simply borne from the fact that I'm trying to comfort my own insecurities.
I toasted some EnerG tapioca bread today and I am pleasantly surprised to say, it makes some good toast... I have had to restrict gluten (I'll still eat it sometimes) recently due to some issues I've been having when I eat a lot of it. Yeah, not too shabby. In fact, shockingly, I would say to toast it rather than eat it raw. It's better that way. I thought it would turn into croutons or something in there.
Balancing my interests in this blog may be difficult. I am catering to two entirely different audiences. Does that make me a complex person? Iunno. But anyway, here's two things that I've been wanting of recent:
Plan on purchasing both in the future, when the funds are available :) Valentines day to myself!!! I actually do NOT like having a lot of jewelry and I already think I have too much, but I've been on this life-search for the perfect heart necklace and this one appears to be exactly everything I want. It's so beautiful and sparkly and to me, the meaning of the heart symbol just gets down to the core of what life is all about, being happy, making others happy, keeping the world healthy, being honest, spreading love and cheer. I just adore that, I always try to mantra the word, "Love." I'm not cheesy about it, but man it makes me happy. And I'll keep doing what makes me happy.
Hmmm, love and narcissism. I think the two can tango. Everyone wants love because everyone needs it and in that, we're kind of narcissistic in believing we deserve it and should have it. I mean, "true love," especially. People want a partner to relate to and derive happiness from. Don't know why we can't just be freaking happy by ourselves, without wanting that, but I don't know one person, myself included, who doesn't want that or wouldn't think that their lives would be somehow improved without that. I dig deep and I still can't figure out why I can't just enjoy things supremely on my own. I do enjoy life and joke around by myself a lot more than I think most people do, being a big introvert, but I still would like company from someone I connect to. I don't understand it. I don't really think it makes that much sense. Just enjoy what's around you on your own, don't take it for granted. You define everything you see, nobody else does, so why does someone else need to be there? Sometimes I think it's how we're raised. But then, while I like myself, it does get boring just interacting with myself. It'd be nice to exchange ideas, etc. (big etc. there, but I don't want to be inappropriate).
I do think people need to just enjoy friends if they can't find that special person, and look around and not take for granted the beauty that's around them. Life is so gorgeous and wonderful, I think, with or without someone's encouragement. I'm always savoring the beauty around me, sky, grass, flowers, sun. People's music, dancing to it, meeting strangers and learning all about people, oh it's so fun, life is meant to be lived!!!!!
Edit: I want to mention that my beloved sister did buy me an absolutely wonderful heart necklace that even has a butterfly on it, another symbol I am totally obsessed with. I'm so so thankful for it and I love it so much. The only two sad, pathetic reasons I would ever even dream of having another heart necklace is because the one above will match more outfits, and I enjoy the idea of buying jewelry for myself, but this one she gave me is still irreplaceable and I couldn't be more grateful for it. Did not mean to exclude that and I apologize.
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