My Thoughts On The Bible--A Series--Genesis

This is a series I am going to be partaking in on my blog.  I am going to read the entire bible and share my thoughts on it, be they positive or negative.  Today we are starting with Genesis.  I'm INCREDIBLY familiar with Genesis, as in my attempts to read the entire bible front to back, I've always started over with Genesis.  I have read it upwards of 10 times.  I'm going to share my thoughts and what has struck me the most over the years, from childhood to now, as Genesis has always struck a few chords.

For this series, I will be giving no explanation of my religious beliefs, what religions/lack thereof I support, whether or not I go to a church of some sort, or explaining the relationships I have with other people who are of other religions.  You will just have to experience this series, completely without the judgement and the biases of what my BACKGROUND is, and purely understand this as a critical writing.  I know that can be hard for some to do.  But it's a good exercise to practice.  I invite you to participate, with eyes open, into what might be a different perspective than your own.  And--that is totally acceptable.

This morning I woke up and I thought about the passage of Adam and Eve.  There is a portion of the story there that has troubled me since small-childhood, nagging at me, though I never really could conceptualize why.  I figured it out.

Adam's Rib

Women bear the great biological responsibility and weight of ALWAYS having to be the ones to bear children, whether or not they like it or the fact that it can kill you, and completely rip apart your body, never leaving it the same.  For that, they really should be respected, and considered as the mothers of the earth.  But nope.  Apparently women don't get that.  What we have to thank, is Adam's rib.  *claps*  God made all those birds, animals, and trees from scratch.  He made Adam in his own image (God's image is apparently a dude).  He said let there be light (the motherfucking SUN) and there was light.  But, women?  Adam's rib!  Of course.  Genius.  When it comes to male-dominated society, we have to start early, after all.

The Tree of Knowledge

First of all, let me get this out of way, I've ALWAYS found Genesis incredibly sexist, even in childhood, and you bet your bottom dollar that nobody around me was telling me that it was.  I'm sorry but if there is ANY SEX OF HUMAN that has trouble with temptation, it's a man.  Who are we constantly on the lookout for in child abduction, rape, and basically any case involving sexual temptation and control/dominance issues (the latter of which, God clearly has--we'll get to that later).  I understand that in our society, female rape is something that, due to cultural stereotypes, is sadly, highly concealed.  But let's look at the statistics of something much more finite: missing children cases.  Those are HIGHLY, highly publicized, at least in the US.  While I don't currently have access to files on the global statistics of the ratio of women to men who kidnap children from their homes (we aren't talking about parents who are arguing about custody, but strangers), I do have access to the news.  And almost EVERY case, if not every, of this type of abduction is by a man.

And yet poor Eve gets the burden of being tempted by an apple, hanging from a tree with a snake on it.  The garden is so happy and beautiful and wonderful, lets go hang out with this gigantic snake.  Surely this is reasonable.

So apparently the Snake, which God made, can talk, and it tempts Eve with, "Knowledge."  What sort of knowledge?  Knowledge and knowing are often synonyms for sex in the bible.  But the snake, quite weakly just renders this as the knowledge of good and evil; these are VAST, VAGUE terms.  Eve, eats the fruit from this so-called (by a talking snake) Tree of Knowledge, and not even a page after her entrance into the bible, has already screwed up.  God, in his almighty, omnipotent wisdom put a tree in the garden that two human no-nothings are not supposed to eat, sat back, ate some popcorn and basically watched them break the rules.  He could have at least made them work for it.

We never find out if Adam would have broken the rules either, but the rendition of the bible (the New International Version) I am reading says he was with her.  In some renditions Adam is innocent of all of this aside from eating the bite he was offered, and we never know whether he would have done it or not.

Then Adam and Eve realize they are naked and are both bashful.  They aren't going, "Hell YEAH!"  They hurry and cover up.  Are they truly embarrassed or did they just realize God's been watching them the whole time?  Who knows.  The Bible as per-tradition doesn't clarify such things that could help to provide us with some credibility.  God just wants you to drink the koolaid.

"And I will put enmity
    between you and the woman,
    and between your offspring[a] and hers;
he will crush[b] your head,
    and you will strike his heel.”

"By the sweat of your brow
    you will eat your food
until you return to the ground,
    since from it you were taken;
for dust you are
    and to dust you will return.”

So then God, even though he put the tree there, and he made the snake, and he knew all of this was going to happen, for whatever reason, gets pissed.  And even though just in the last page, Adam was with Eve (whether or not he could also hear the snake talking is also not clarified), apparently Eve now is the one who gets to bare children.  And now they have to eat food and live and die and just turn back into dust.  Wait isn't that atheism?  What happened to the greater beyond that everybody always talks about.  If we are lucky, we'll find out in the next sequel!

“The man has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil. He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever.”

"Us?"  Who is, "Us?"  There are more than one?  I'm scared.

So then because of this, humans can't live forever by eating from the Tree of Life, and then we all know what happens with Cain and Abel, as referenced above where offspring are mentioned.  It's our great punishment for doing exactly what God set up for us and knew about the entire time.  Makes perfect sense.

But the Greater Question in all of this, is this:  Why did this, "God," not want humans to be knowledgeable?

And what does this say about this particular religion?

I suppose we will delve into that in the future.

Owning My First Amendment Right

I always have felt an intense sense of guilt for confronting people when I think they are wrong.  It's always seemed like I am disturbing the peace, or hurting their feelings.  And lately, I have come to a sense of peace with this.  I've come to a conclusion, and I'm no longer bothered by it anymore--my being open, in the end, protects other people.

That said, I have a line.  There has to be a line.  I don't say something EVERY single time I don't like something--that would be incredibly negative and reactive.  I only say it when it truly counts and I KNOW that decisions will affect others negatively, and that by not saying something, I would be hurting others even more.  And I think at younger ages, it was harder for me to decide when these lines occurred, and I often remained quiet and would beat myself up about it later.  Not anymore.

From now on, I am open when I think a choice is immoral and affects a large group of people.  I am transparent about it.  And I say it immediately.  Not to be rude, not to cause drama, but because I know that this will affect people negatively and will continue to if I don't say something from the start.  I also want these choices to be really well-thought out.  Can you imagine a world where people, without thinking, constantly made choices that affect others negatively without thinking twice about it?  Unfortunately, we can all agree that this ALREADY happens far too often.  Sometimes just alerting someone to the act is enough to help others, at least for the future.

A sense of transparency and honesty not only creates trust between myself and other people, but creates fear in those who are prone to lying because they know, not only do they have to hold themselves accountable with me, but all of those who I open up to.  And they know that because my intentions are always pure of heart, those people will trust me to be open for the right reasons.

If I were a selfish person, someone who didn't care about other people, their well-being, their happiness and their success...I would not be a reliable person for any sort of information.  However since all of that is my top-priority, it's pretty hard not to trust me and rely on me as a solid source of protection, information, and transparency.

I don't trust people as I did before.  I think deep down, people are good.  But too often, good people rationalize poor decisions, and they don't realize how much they hurt others.  As human-beings, it's our duty to alert people to poor decision-making when it hurts themselves or others.  And too often we rationalize poor decisions.  We sensationalize the quiet, call them graceful, and say they are peaceful, classy.  Yet these same people are cowards and don't speak up when the going gets tough.  They allow bad things to happen to people, because they are afraid of how they will look--the definition of selfish.  I don't want people around me who aren't able to speak out when something is wrong.  I want protectors, I want heroes, I want people who are strong and can speak their minds.  They come in all shapes and colors, all formats of speech.  And yes, some are quieter than others.  But I want to see people's ability to speak out for others.  I want to see leadership in others.  I want to see love for other people, with every decision other people make.  The need to impress needs to be forgotten.  It's selfish, it hurts others. Life should not be about how you look, but what you've done to help others.  How you've committed to that and what you have sacrificed to do that, makes you strong, makes you brave, and makes you a better person and the world a better place.

Peace and Me

October 14, 2016


I wrote this for a reason, not to display.
I have purpose with every word I say.
Setting emotions aside lets just table lay
Forget about petty disarray

I'm waiting for a sentence that makes sense
I'm waiting to believe there is a chance
I'm waiting for my hope to be renewed
I'm waiting to not feel like we are through

I'm too strong to be unhappy and not laugh
I'm too aware to be go through the worst and not be cheerful
I've been through too much to not feel like I'm lucky
You see all the good and forget I am a person

My brain has begun to shut you out
With every word I say, you have doubt
I've tried countless ways to change my enunciation
Practice and practice my communication
Manipulate my tones, my words,
The emotional impact and intricacies of my sentences,
All to say the same things you've never understood

You are to think every single thing you want of me
I just can't be present
Your love makes me care about things I never do
I don't want to
You believe you are here to help me
Help yourself to the door

Four years have flown away
Yet I've been here to stay
My walls have turned to steel
I've forgotten how to feel
I may never get what I need
That's the cross I'll have to heed
I know alone, I'll be just fine.

Fairy tales are for people who haven't seen the real world
They're a common self-absorbent fantasy
I'm aware some people don't see a full life-time
I don't need to hold on to you and me

The world is full of high expectations
Most of those expectations are absolute crap
If you don't reach something, you don't reach it
You can do what you want to do
You truly define your path

I have failed you in 100,000 ways
You had several issues with me every single day
I don't exceed your expectations,
The subject of an on-going operation
Yet my views are very much the same

The living heart is just a theory
My real one beats and beats just fine
The idea of true love is a circus
It makes a nice story by design

If I'm happy, that's what matters
There's so much in life I love and like
I don't need one to complete me
I've got it all because I have got my mind

We create what we believe
We create every single thing we see
Our lives are partially manufactured fantasy
Justifications, rules, and dignity
Yet there's no way to oversimplify
The peace we can have, we can be
I've always found that peace when it was just me

I'm Very Tired

I am becoming resigned to the fact that I can't have everything exactly as I want it, so I will continue to write in this blog with it's, in my opinion crappy, title, and possibly dated youthful entries; that I'm afraid to read; and get over it because, obviously, it shouldn't matter, and I should have realized that all along.  I love that run-on sentence.  It's exactly how I speak, when I'm annoyed my sentences become very blurred together and sardonic.

I am very tired of being polite when things don't go a certain way.
I'm very tired of catering to the whims of people whose values I don't respect.
I'm very tired of everything everyone else is, and I'm not afraid to say it again like many have before me, above the voices of the casual quiet.  I'm not a casual-thinking person.  I never have been and never will be.  I don't want to be.  I don't plan to be.  Things that bother you should be addressed.  Yes, even if they've been before by others.

I'm awake.

I don't want to go to sleep.

I want to address the unaddressed and the dressed.

I keep hoping.

I speak because I have hope.  If I believed in nothing I'd say nothing.  I speak when I know things can be better.

Allow me to speak.

Ignore my format and just read.

It's the message, not the passage.


I am tired.

How To Be a Strong Person

You want to hear my inner voice??  I'm calling to all of you.  These are my innermost beliefs, the things that push me forward, through the piles and piles of bullshit.

I am at a point in my life where I truly feel solid on the fact that we create our own problems.  We are the manufacturers of complexity.  And we thrive on it.  Those thriller movies/books where the plot is so entangled that we can’t not think that the author is a mad genius.  We live for that crap, and understandably as those things are fascinating.  But do we need that in our lives??  Hell no.

Day to day, we really need simplicity in order to have peace of mind.  And our brains are complex.  So sometimes, a lot of times, that is complicated.  It isn’t really natural for a lot of us.  And yet we wait for this to happen, sometimes chase it and make things harder.  You have to actively seek solitude and actively create it, actively fight anxious/unproductive thoughts.  You can’t just wait for it because it won’t happen, like anything else.  YOU are responsible.  Not God, not anybody.  YOU.  And I will be the one to tell you that because I do think a reliance on religion can cloud the path for a lot of us.  The weight’s on YOUR personal shoulders, to figure your shit out.  Not God’s/Allah’s/Whomever’s.

If it rains out, it rains out.  If you are angry at someone, you don’t have to be.  You can, not like someone without wasting your time thinking about them, most of the time (I’m not talking about complex emotional healing here, mostly just the day to day, ups and downs of our own emotions/inner peace).

Another thing I want to mention is—we aren’t telling each other crap…Why, because the 50s were 60 years ago.  What happens when you tell someone something you think is important?  If you are right, you have fixed something.  If you are wrong, hopefully they or someone in the room will fix you.  That’s called GROWTH.  So say whatever the hell you think.  Because if you don’t, nobody gets better.  You are an integral part of this world.  Your personal view is unique to yourself.  SHARE it.  You need it, everybody needs it.  It’s stupid to think that you don’t count because often the norm is incredibly wrong or could severely be improved upon.

I know it’s incredibly easy to fall into the thought that what has been done for years and years must be right.  Guess what, so were a lot of extremely shitty practices.  Racism.  Sexism.  Rape, yes these are all integral, shitty-ass parts of human culture that need to stop.  There’s a lot more than needs to be fixed.  Things aren’t close to perfect yet.  You don't need to be normal because guess what, society's version of "normal??"  It ain't perfect.  We haven't even begun to encroach on what an acceptable human being is.  Little things you do are a part of making that better.

Let’s look stupid together so we can make the world a better place.  That’s called being a strong person.  It gets easier and easier the more you push.  Forget how to be "normal."  That will restrain you.  That is bullshit.

Alright?

Also, calm the fuck down.

Thanks.


PS:  I leave you with this final thought--Innocence is, at ground-level, the purity of fitting into society's norms.  It gives two feet to walk on with no substance.  It feeds expectations bearing no fruit.  Grow.

Loss

Loss is a life lesson that we all eventually go through.  It's difficult to address loss, and--obviously--is a commonly avoided subject.  The idea of losing loved ones, or even losing acquaintances, can seem unfathomable, at least until death happens.  And then it does and it's a slap in the face.  The wondering--what you could have done--and you suffer loss, not only for the person, but for all the time you could have spent with them.  Then on top of that, you also realize things that you never thought you'd realize, like, how silly you were for having any judgments of that person, how wrong you were for thinking things about them that absolutely should have no bearing on the goodness of their soul.  Anything stupid that you may have thought about that person suddenly appears, even if it might not have been as big of a deal as what you are making it now. Left raw, open, and exposed, for you to clean up like dust underneath a shelf that got moved to another part of the room.  But you realize most of your initial worries after losing a loved one were silliness, the product of the anxiety and grief such an event can create.  And, sometimes they aren't.  In any case, we all must find our own way to move on, and like everything else in life, no two paths are the same.

Each person we meet has a clock with a timer on it, and we don't know what day that timer is going to stop.  Appreciate the fact that they are around, give them a smile, give them encouragement, because we have no idea what they are going through or if/when we will see them again.  We all experience pain.  We are never ever alone in our pain, and in fact, we are just as alone in our happiness, yet we feel as if we are alone in our pain because most of us are too afraid to share it.  It's still a cultural taboo we need to overcome.  A taboo that, if overcame, would benefit a lot of people who feel unnecessarily isolated.  Unhappiness is the nature of living in a world full of expectations, human rights issues, unpredictability and instability.  Happiness is the ability to see past all that, the ability to get yourself out of situations that aren't good for you, and to not take what is truly meaningful and right in front of us for granted.  That includes not taking for granted the people around us, the ones we love and the ones we hardly know, with the knowledge that life is short.

Furthering on happiness, as it is a very relevant topic when we discuss death, mostly for the people who have to recover from their loss of a loved one, but also in situations where someone has passed before their time--We all deserve to be happy.  But it isn't handed to us on a silver platter.  Tragedy is inevitable for everyone.  Happy things are also inevitable for everyone, but we have to take the time to appreciate them.  Wealthy or poor, in sickness or in health, happiness is absolutely something every person on earth must work for.  It's earned like wages.  And often, you've got to wade through a bunch of crap in order to get to it, but it's always worth it.

I have been shocked by death of an acquaintance who I thought was an incredibly happy, wonderful light in this world.  We never know what is going on in people's lives, and often their behavior shows no reflection of the truth.  Some people show their emotions, some are talented at hiding them.  A happy person's mental state and/or personal lives could be falling apart just as much as someone who is unhappy.  Someone who has the popular 'goal lifestyle' could be miserable, someone with an unpopular, even difficult way of living could be absolutely thrilled.  Things are not always as they seem.  We all take joy from different things.  This is why more than ever, we should value making people around us feel good, even if they are not behaving the most kindly.  You have no idea what's going on behind closed doors, no idea how the way you treat them could affect the quality of their day, affect their choices, affect positive outcomes.  And while in all likelihood, your words as a stranger will be forgotten, it does not hurt to try to be positive at the right times.  Respect is a right for every creature in this world.

Appreciate the beauty of truly kind people.  Embrace and encourage other people's happiness.   You never know when your opportunity to do that will be gone.  Life goes by incredibly fast.  Relish it, make it a priority to have your moments with people.  You never know when someone is going to be gone and you can't put a smile on their face anymore.  You never know how something little you do could change someone's life.  Just some thoughts!! :)  I think we all get too wrapped up in the little and forget to focus on the big, even if we've thought to before, there's just a lot of crap to wade through and distract us!! ;)

Take care guys :)
--L

PS:  I think the only time I mention I love songs on here, they're probably by Coldplay...but I really like their new song called Hymn For The Weekend.  It's beautiful!!!

Never Be Complacent Because You Are Afraid

Hi :)

I know I need to get back on here and write another blog when my facebook posts start getting longer and longer...The proof is in the pudding, I guess I have been feeling inspired lately.

So usually, when I DO write on here, I come with a rampant mission of topics to discuss, but today I'm just going to go with the flow.  I know I have a whole lot of things I could talk about, we'll see where my brain takes me.


Usually what starts me is things I am learning in my own life, so we'll start there.  What is the biggest thing I am learning lately?

I am not going to get a damn thing in my life/job unless I not only ask for it, but demand it, remind the people I'm asking, keep showing how great I am at whatever I'm doing, and don't back down.  The things I want are NOT going to be handed to me.  They are going to be given to the person who is demanding harder than I am.

There isn't going to be a change in my life unless I make it.  Life ain't no Cinderella story.  If I want something different, I have to earn it.  It's very annoying, but I'm pretty sure it's like this for most people.

There's always going to be more people who disagree with me or just don't understand me than people who are going to be on my side.  But that doesn't mean I'm wrong.  In fact most of the time, when I do have a conversation with people, they're either very impressed with what I have to say, or they're belligerent and their counterpoints, are so stupid that they only encourage me.  And sometimes, I am just plain wrong.  But being wrong about a couple things doesn't make you wrong about everything.  I think people are afraid to speak out because they are afraid of being wrong.  I love being wrong because it teaches me new things--I want to get my words as far out as possible because often, I am very wise and I think I can help people--and when I am wrong, I'm helping myself by learning.  I don't claim to know it all by speaking out about things that I have a solid logical argument behind.  I do claim to be proud of my own opinions, and I think that's important as long as you are using logic and self-improvement as your motivation, and not selfish reasons.

My life is just always going to be hard.  It's never been easy, it never will be easy.  All I can do now is laugh and realize that it is what I make of it.  I can act like everything's so horrible or really, I can appreciate the blessings I do have.  And sometimes, I can flamboyantly express the 'suckery' of it all, because every one of us is entitled to do that a few times a week.  But, at the same point, I'm not going to make a big deal out of small things by letting them take over my life.  Self-expression and depression are two different things.  Leading me to my next point--

People will always make a big deal out of little things.  Often, as a consequence, this blurs what the actual truth is for people who are just listening in on a conversation, and can cause the weak-minded to see things unclearly, which is why you must always try to listen to things objectively and form your own conclusions.  For instance, when I listen to someone vent about the behavior of someone else.  I can objectively watch this and, while, maybe I don't approve of the behavior of the person who is the subject of the discussion, in the same token, often this would never bother me enough to say anything about it.  To me it's like, you're behaving poorly and you need to improve--but unless you are TRULY hurting others, it's really not something for other people to get all fussy about.  And at my work, watching people get upset because things were left in places where they don't go--that's just hilarious.  It's amazing how things that don't matter can get blown out of proportion by the right people.  Or even when I'm bothered by something.  I've literally had to vocalize--"Hey--it bothers me, but it's not a big deal," because the person I was telling this to was acting like it was horrible that something small and trivial was bothering me (it was loud yelling at a football game, fyi).  When I told this person, who I love dearly that, they were simply like, "Oh," with an -oops- look on their face.  I just plugged my ears, grimaced, and moved on with my life.  Lol.

The title of my book will be, "Dear People, I May Be Annoyed But My Life Didn't End Because Someone Put Eggs In My Frittata."
Life is what it is and you get what you get, you're annoyed by what you're annoyed by, you don't like what you don't like, you go through what you go through and it's NOT a big deal.  Unless you make it that.

When I read over this, it's clear that the main focus of my life is not anything we're taught to focus on--it's self-improvement and the pure happiness that comes with that.  Push others and push yourself ONLY where it counts, and don't cause yourself anxiety by worrying about things that don't matter.  Speak your mind, learn, and you may be surprised by how right you are and how wrong other people are.  And if you are wrong, you may be surprised by how much you've learned and how glad you are for saying the wrong thing--because without doing that, you would never have been taught something new.  Live your life, say what you need to say.  Go where you need to go.  Never be complacent because you are afraid.

The Convincing and The Unconvincing. Addressing Stupidity.

First of all, I'm feeling a bit insecure about this post.  I hope what I am writing isn't just plain common sense and that it's actually teaching some people a thing or two.  I worry that I'm just writing a lot of stuff that people already have got figured out.  I hope I am helping at least a good chunk of whoever is reading!!

Hope I haven't made any promises of more regular future blogs on here because those have clearly been foiled.  My apologies if I have and I'll try not to do it in the future.  Regularity on these isn't a feasible thing for me at this current point in time.  Maybe now that I've said that, I'll post more?  That's usually how it goes with me.  I try to do this for enjoyment and I think lately I have been so focused on other things that adding blogs in as a requirement to prevent negligence would have just been stressful for me...so well, they got neglected.  I still am happy to have and write in these, so pardon the irregularity.  Hope it just adds to the charm?  Enough about that!!


TO THE ENTRY:

I've learned that often I over think common sense things.  I'll try to delve into something simple and come up with reasons why it is basic knowledge.  In actuality, these simple things are what they are, and are, in fact, nothing to argue against, but should be used as reasons for doing other things.  To come up with a reason for these things, would be hyper-analyzing and over-complicating matters.  I think when you get down to the nitty-gritty, sometimes something IS WHAT IT IS.  And saying absolutely anything else about it would be over-doing it and trying to add depth to something where depth does not exist.  Getting a little too creative/a little too close to being obsessive compulsive.  I've found often in my life that sometimes just saying a certain phrase with confidence is much better to sway people with than also giving them the reasons.  Because, now, giving reasons, you give people more room for objection.  If something is what it is, well, there's no debating it, is there?  But reasons make things more complicated, and easier to argue against, sometimes necessarily, and sometimes not.

You can totally abuse this, and I fear a bit at handing out the info I put in the paragraph above, but I think enough people have figured it out, regardless.  There are times when you NEED reasons and there are times when something is actually so simple that you do not.

For instance, if you are late for something.  You can simply say, I am late.  And that stands strong on it's own, albeit causing the person who you are telling you are late to wonder.  But once you come up with reasons for it--they become excuses.  Excuses the latter party can actually argue against.  We all know how this debate works, it's one of the debates that, no doubt, all of humankind experiences, quite a few times in their lifetime.  Whether the person you are late to seeing deserves an excuse is at your discretion.  I would hope you would know when it's rude to not give your excuse and when it isn't, but a lot of people unfortunately don't, and I'm not delving into that right now, plus I think it's a little different for everyone.  There's a balanced approach and an approach that comes from nonsense, whether that's egoism, or other strange, fantastical values.


There's a totally irresponsible way to clarify thoughts that I fear this entry could start the seed in, in irrational or young minds.  And that is, to just make a short statement on some radical belief, for instance, "Stars are alive." (pathetic example, but nevertheless) and then not have an answer because you act as if this statement is a given when it's absolutely not.  Do we believe stars are alive?  Is that a common thought?  The person who says it may act like EVERYBODY thinks stars are alive, but that doesn't mean they are!!!  You better give some good, viable reasons if you are going to make a statement like that and are expecting sane, balanced, mature people to believe you.  [I add the three adjectives sane, balanced, and mature because I think without three out of three, you could probably get a couple of people who only has two out of three to believe you without much trying.  And some people value that--usually people who are dumb and/or just plain nasty and manipulative...They'll get a large enough number of stupid people to believe them until the number is so high that the smart ones start questioning whether they are right or not, even though when you look at the facts, they are wrong.]

There are people who absolutely WILL make statements like "Stars are alive," and will completely expect you to side with them, with absolutely no reason, simply because, point-blank, these people are vain, egotistical, and idiotic.  They need you to appeal to their ego--it gives them a rush, and satisfies their need for acceptance and their insecure need to have followers.  Honestly, I don't really get it, and it's taking me a hellish time to figure out why the hell they do it, as I would be insulted by people who are only liking me because I sound powerful and not because I sound logical.  It's not a valid reason to be worshiped--and on the off-side, I don't want to be worshiped because I don't consider myself or anyone else, above anyone else.  I want to be respected, because I make sense and help my surroundings, myself, and the people around me become better.  Not because I make random, crazy statements, that may or may not be true, and have people follow them because I can because I am powerful.  That's not real trust.  That's not kind.  That's not true or valid.  It's not real validation.  It's sheer stupidity, to be quite honest.  I don't respect it or support it and I hope you won't either.

Statements along this line that make me cringe.

Ew, why are you wearing pink, that is so last season. (why?  did someone get hurt?)
I bought this because ___ bought it. (um, okay, what's the reason?)
Everyone loves _driving_. (Fill in the blank with anything, you still better give some reasons for such a broad statement).
People with brown hair like ____.
People with ____ are like ____.  (why?)
Married men/women are ___.
People without children are sad.
People with children are sad.
People who are single are ___.
People who hate my favorite type of music are horrible.
People who hate my favorite food are horrible.
People who ____ are emotionally unbalanced.
People who are __race or religion goes here_ are stupid. (these last two are doozies)
People who are __sexuality preference__ are bad people. (granted, a lot of "reasons" are given for this, they're just always illogical and hateful because they marginalize a large group of people whose intentions are all different, as they're all different human beings just like you and me and our sexualities do not define our moral compass...there's simply no relation...It's laughable to me that it's even still a debate, honestly, because it makes no sense.  Does the fact that I prefer wine over cheese make me a bad person too?  Or the fact that I prefer art over math?  Why is preferring boys over girls or girls over boys different?  You can't come up with a good argument and it's because there isn't one.)
You aren't supposed to do that. (why?  Parents especially--give your children reasons for why they shouldn't do things.  Let them share their opinions on why they disagree.  Don't just tell them not to because you are boss.  Teach them to be thinkers, for goodness sake.)
I do it this way because I've always done it this way. (that's never been a good reason for anything, especially in the work place where efficiency is valued and there's almost always a better way to do something.  Give some more explanation than that, please.)
I can never get better. (why not?  Logic can help you overcome depression and at least sadness, did you know that?  It can help you gain confidence because it causes you think of ways to come out of it on your own.  That's a whole other subject of discussion though.)
It will never get better. (why not?)
Oh look, even though the whole direction of the article clearly meant this, this one sentence here metaphorically meant something else, so I think that is what the writer really meant. (that's an example of using very poor evidence and poor analytical skills to make a point.)


These types of phrases, I think due to their confidence, have actually driven a lot of people to believe what's being said--but without good reasoning, these phrases are in absolutely no way valid and should not be trusted whatsoever.

So when is making a general statement and not giving any reason behind it acceptable?


When you share a preference:
I like the color blue.
I like writing.
I like boys.
I love to dance and sing.
I love people who are open-minded and true to themselves.
I enjoy math.
I prefer stained clothes over worrying about being perfect all the time.
I prefer spaghetti.

I think that's pretty much a given.  You can explain why you like something, but you don't have to, because the truth is, for whatever reason, you just enjoy it.  Am I right?

When you are declaring an action:
I did this.
I made this.
I will do this.
I won't do this.

It may or may not be true, but you don't have to give a reason because generally there's no argument against actions, as they are what they are.


When you do have to give a reason for what you are saying, is typically when you are expressing a belief.  Not something matter-of-fact.  But I think that a lot of people have a hard time separating what is matter-of-fact, between what is opinion.  And while it seems trivial, it's one of the most important skills you can have in life, not only to express yourself, but to protect yourself and the ones around you from being manipulated and used by people with poor intentions.  It also helps prevent you from over-explaining your preferences to people who are truly just being judgmental for no good reason (something I to this day struggle with, and I think it's what inspired this entry!).

I hope I've helped. :)  I don't think a redundant conclusion paragraph is necessary, so adios.  I'd love to answer questions on this.

Aging and My Three Reasons Why I Think It's Not A Big Deal...Self-Growth

(First of all, I didn't mean to make this post around certain loved ones of mine's birthdays.  That's sheer coincidence and I just realized this about 35 min into writing the entry.  This entry is not directed to anyone at all, and is meant to be helpful, fun, and insightful for anyone who stumbles upon it, just like every other entry I've ever written in the blog).

HI party people!!!  (I'm only saying that because it sounds so ridiculous here and my sense of humor is kind of to put things/say things in situations where they completely don't seem to go!  I hear several grasshoppers in the difference, some mouse-clicks over some X's, and I can almost feel the glaring scowls at the computer screen right now...but I don't care, you're going to have to deal with my unique sense of humor, because it's here to stay.)

I have had some time and with time... I GET TO THINK.  And with my thoughts...comes DANGEROUS proportions.

Well, blog entries. :)  Although I prefer to imbue (imbue!!!!  HAH!!  My favorite word...it sounds so funny!!!  I'm sure that was out of context, but I just felt the need to use the word imbue) this blog as a Professional Journal without all the boredom/scientific terms/repetitiveness in my head.

I hope I don't sound like one of those generic youtubers (of which I've been studying way too many for makeup-learning-purposes for my job [OKAY AND for personal enjoyment] etc, etc.  I hope they aren't rubbing off on me!  Why do so many always start and end their videos the same way?  And endorse things the same ways?  Is it just a comfort-zone thing?)

OMG.  *Slaps own wrist*  Time to get with the program. (Considers deleting all of the above.  But of course I won't because...I don't have to! :)  I love that about this thing)



Working sort of in the doorway (well maybe like 8 inches AWAY from the doorway...but still NEAR the doorway) of the beauty industry (as a cashier lol), I've been thinking a lot lately about aging.  And of course because it is MY brain, I had to turn innocent skin-care shopping into some sort of philosophical concept.  Anyway, we all know this already, but clearly...blah blah...there's a lot of dread having to do with age.

But I don't think there has to be! :)

First of all:

.5)  Gray hair is BEAUTIFUL.  I just found my first five or six gray hairs the other day.  They are all rather short, like they all decided to just grow in and decide to be gray a few weeks ago.  'Oh hello there Lyza, we are gray now, just decided a couple weeks ago, what's up!?'  But they're really sparkly and silvery, which I rather like.  And as long as we keep it healthy, I don't see how it's this horrible thing... if you keep your hair as soft and shiny as possible, what's wrong with gray hair?  Dye it if you want...but I don't think it's something to be ashamed of.  (Why did I put this as number one, like it's so important??  Please keep reading...hope I haven't lost anybody :P )

1)  Every year, you get a bit wiser, a bit more comfortable with yourself, and a bit more intolerant to bullshit.  Situations dealing with other people, time thinking to yourself, and thinking about how to handle these situations for the future simply does this to you naturally.  Time does this.  Time creates comfort in places that were new--life--and comfort allows you to be more open and honest about how you're really feeling.  Time also allows you to be comfortable expressing when you're uncomfortable.  You realize--I don't HAVE to feel bad about the opinions I am forming because someone told me I should.  I feel this way based on the knowledge I accrued over time, and it makes a lot of sense that I feel this way.  And because of that logic, you can feel proud expressing the thoughts you have, be they positive or negative.  Even if they are wrong every once in a while--you can feel comfortable expressing your thoughts and comfortable negotiating different opinions and accepting when you are wrong--that is true maturity--and I know plenty of people of all ages, old or young, who are terrible at doing that, but it's part of self-growth and being a good person.  I can't wait to see the Lyza I am ten years from now-because she sure is kicking it now.  I'm thinking I'm about to be a B.O.S.S.  Are you too?

I have heard that our mental stamina is at it's height in our mid-twenties...never to reach it's peak again.  However, mid-twenties is still very young.  It may be at it's height, but who is to say it is being put to good use?  Everyone is a little different, everyone matures differently and I don't think that our supposed "mental decline," has to be so dramatic.  We can NOT however, use our aging as an excuse to evade personal growth and still take true pride in who we are.  We all know people who do this.  If you want to truly be a decent person, you have to be compassionate for others, accept when you are wrong, and be open-minded to new ideas (last one being the hardest as our physical brains do lose plasticity, and therefore lose the ability to be open-minded, as we age...which is why I believe the terrible human traditions, are/have been so hard to break!).

My advice on your brain losing plasticity:  The BEST thing you can do for your mental health is to make it a practice to be open-minded--every single day of every year.  Put changing things up into practice--don't get too caught up in any routine and always allow yourself to hear opinions different from your own.  It probably won't eradicate the problem--but it could only help.

2)  Every year, you get better at knowing what you want, and how to say no to the things that you don't want.  It seems pretty base--knowing what you want, but it's actually kind of hard to really know everything about what you want, at any age, because there's so many choices to be made about so many different things, that we can't really know until we attempt to make these choices, learn more about what we are about to do, or have the wisdom to know that certain things we are being advised to do simply aren't logical for us.

 I had no idea I would hate college when I started it at age 18 or that it was corrupt for my elders at school to pressure us all to make such an impacting financial choice at such a young, impressionable age.  I had no idea that some of my strengths would include being good at reading people, understanding situations, and problem-solving.  I had no idea most of the people making others unhappy are unhappy themselves.  And no idea how to handle those people when push comes to shove.  I had no idea sometimes people stick to a terrible opinion just out of pride, and not because there's any real logic to it.  5 or 6 years ago it was harder for me to separate truth from opinion and to know who was selfish, who was well-meaning but wrong, and who was just using poor logic and needed an upgrade.  I had no idea about tons of things just 5 or 6 years ago.  But now that I know these things--I am standing at the tip of the iceberg on my life--on what I want, what will make me happy, and how I will and do handle situations when things inevitably get tough.  And my logic makes me 100% comfortable standing up for my beliefs when someone disagrees with me.  Beliefs should be formed through logical argument--not through others but through your own trains of thought and your own desire to be a good person.  We're NOT going to be good at everything and we're NOT going to get everything right because we're human and part of maturity is accepting that and being able to be fine with it.  ALSO--what makes you happy may NOT make someone else happy.  But, when you know what the HELL you want for your own life and your own happiness, and you have good foundations for your beliefs--even if you have to be tough on people at first because they want you to be a different way--you make yourself and you make the world a better, more accepting and balanced place for everyone.  That's just what the simple combination of logic, truth, and happiness does.  It starts a chain-reaction of positivity--as long as you act on it.  As time goes on, you do get better at putting yourself in a place where you are happier because of what you'll inevitably learn about yourself, and that's the wonderful thing about aging.

3.)  Life gets easier when you know what you want and know how to act on it.  I'm not saying you won't have as many or more problems than you do now, when you are older.  But, when you're not like a lost baby bird, it certainly does help.  Experience does bring about a certain calm on things that may have totally daunted you when you first started on them.  It's like any new job... For instance, doing the loud-speaker announcements at my job used to give me terrible nerves...now I am actually excited to do them.  You also learn how to pull yourself out of situations that are not right for you or good for you, which can be difficult all in it's own for some people, especially if you don't realize that they're not right.  Hard things become easy...every new thing becomes a new opportunity, to scare yourself, to challenge yourself, and to realize that was scary to you in the past is actually not a big deal at all.  So things in a way get easier--mainly because you know how to handle them better--that's the nature of experience.


ThankYOU. :)

That's all for now, I hope I helped, and I hate writing conclusion paragraphs.


EDIT:  I'm re-reading this and I know some of my wording comes off as really hilarious...almost like a parody and not like something to be taken seriously (example:  "...What the HELL you want..."  I didn't want to professionalize this entry... I just wanted it to come off how I would say it in person, and a lot of times my intention is to make people laugh in addition to teaching them something.  I have a very sarcastic sense of humor that I like to mix in on occasion when I feel I'm making a strong point, but read out loud I'm thinking this could sound kind of ridiculous.  Hopefully the entry helped you in some way and I'm editing this like crazy today (just the day it was posted...it'll be completely final tomorrow...this is how I always do this).  I need to stop submitting my entries so early.  Most of the time they come out fantastically, but today's was a little jumbled and I should have waited before submitting it!!!

Follow Your OWN Values--Not The Ones You're Told To Follow

Why do you think you make the decisions you make?
Because you have to?  Because you like to?  Because you were told it was the right thing?  Or because you actually thought it out yourself, thought out the results the decision would get you, thought out how you would feel after you made the decision, and thought out why your decision actually made the most sense to you and in accordance with your own values.

I have found more than a few times in my life that what everyone else tells me is the right thing, feels like the wrong thing for myself and my own reasoning.  And usually when I take the time to explain why I chose to do an action, I'm given respect for it--even if who I am talking to would never do it themselves.

When I tell people my choices--I don't expect or desire any sort of conversion.  I don't expect them to change their moral compass to one similar to mine.  I don't even expect them to agree with me.  I only expect respect.  Respect for the fact that I take the time to logistically seek out what I want from my life and what makes me feel good about myself and what I am doing.  And respect that their values are different from mine--and we can still co-exist.

I'll always respect someone with different values than mine if their path of logic is sensible and good-hearted.  I especially like it when people aren't afraid to say that they feel differently than me, or anyone else for that matter, because it shows they have courage and believe in what they are doing.  It's boring and unrefreshing to see people who clearly disagree, stay silent because they are afraid.  What are they living for anyway?  Clearly not their values--which are the most VALUABLE thing.

When people disagree with each other, but they respectfully tell each other why they disagree with each other, everyone learns something, as long as the two people are sensible and logical.  We all can teach each other how to learn and grow by showing each other what we feel strongly is right, and why it is right.  That's how new inventions are made and that's how people come together and grow together.

There will always be people out there who are a horrible combination of closed-minded and self-righteous.  But guess what?  Those are the people who do nothing for anyone else and are usually forgotten.  Can you think of anyone in history who succeeded without making mistakes and admitting to them?  Every person I can think of who we all respect now, fought for beliefs that were different than everyone elses, made mistakes and admitted to them, and had the courage to keep going, failure after failure.  And inevitably, they taught everyone around them something new.  Can you do that?  Or do you want to keep doing what everyone else does, even though sometimes you feel it's not the right thing? (Granted, sometimes what everyone else is doing is actually the right thing.  This entry is not about rebelling against people unnecessarily.  It's about being a good person with a good foundation, using LOGIC.)

Here are some beliefs I have that completely don't match up with many of the people's around me.  And while I do believe, in many cases, that the people around me are wrong, I accept that people are different me, and many have their own proper reasoning for why they feel the way they do.

I don't think that highschool children should be pressured to go to college, and especially not expensive ones.
--I wasted a ton of money going to college.  I hated it, had health issues that prevented me from walking to class a lot of days, I dropped classes, and I eventually had to switch to a much more affordable community college.  It was the utterly and completely, the biggest mistake I've ever made in my life, to go to college when A) I felt so unsure of what I wanted to do, and B) I had health issues that made walking to my classes extremely unrealistic for me.  I also was pressured a lot by people important to me, that I in fact was NOT feeling as poorly as I was.  I've had to put up with, frankly, a ton of ignorance and blind-sidedness to become the strong person I am today.  What I conclude now from all of this is that college is NOT right for everyone.  All it did for me, was drain me of my finances and make my life harder.

Furthermore, I don't think you have to have a fabulous job or be making middle-class/upper-class wages to be a respectable person.
--How much money you make or your college degree is no indication of your values.  So you studied hard in school--that just means you have a good work-ethic.  And while that's a good quality to have if you are doing something you believe in (if you're working hard to do something you hate, I don't see the point), it reveals nothing of what is actually important to you.  Practically everyone in the country is telling their children to go to college--that college is success.  What actually makes you successful as a person is, you guessed it, your personal values.  What makes you happy, the love and the goodness you bring to the world, your care for your fellow man-kind, your open-mindedness, your inner-strength, your balance, your desire to prevent disagreement and bring knowledge to others...those are the REAL values, the stuff that counts.  And they're reflected not by a college education, but by what you say to other people and how you treat them and the world around you.

Case-in-point: Do we need doctors?  Yes.  100%.  But I'll always respect a doctor more when they are down-to earth and don't act holier-than-thou.  An arrogant doctor is an idiot doctor in my eyes.  Because all they did is work their asses off to get to where they are.  For all we know, a doctor could be doing their job for the money.  They aren't showing us their true values until we get to know the person within.

Further, I believe you should be frightened of arrogance.  Arrogance often-times is what creates issues like plunging into a situation because of confidence and then making mistakes because one was too confident and didn't weigh the costs of their decisions, and furthermore, arrogance often causes people to place blame on other factors, such as other people or the situation, even though the mistake was clearly made by the arrogant one themselves.  People who are arrogant have stunted-self-growth, and usually become grown up children because they believe so heartily that they are right about things, that they don't see when they are wrong.

And unfortunately for humanity, we tend to be swayed by arrogance.  When you see someone confidently endorsing something, you're more likely to grab it than someone who is shyly endorsing it.  The shy person could be the one in the right, but because the other person displayed it confidently, you might make the wrong decision based on the fact that it was confidently portrayed to you.  This is why your values are SO IMPORTANT.  Using logic, they keep your feet on the ground and they keep you from being swayed by illusion.  By being open-minded, they also help you grow.



So those are my thoughts on that.

Where I'm Going, What I'm Saying.

It's been a while since I have wrote in here!  I planned on writing a second half to that other entry, but I felt it would have been repetitive and I was uninspired by it, so I saved you guys the trouble.  This isn't a college assignment, of which I feel are energy-sucking, time-consuming, and often an uninspired way to get people to have some sort of proof that they were paying attention, using all the wrong mechanisms to show what they've learned.  Here, if I don't feel good about something, I'm dropping it.  Not wasting valuable time and energy.  And I apply that same notion to my entire life as well.

Lately, I have been making a lot of life changes and a lot of new adjustments.  A lot of decisions, and a lot of deliberation are happening this year.  It's going to be a pretty huge year for me, because I have some imperative and urgent choices to make.  I'm trying to accept the fact that I need to be -okay- with it and just handle it--because whether I like it or not, the due dates are coming.  However, I also know I am not REALLY okay with it.  I have always hated being forced into a time-limit.  I'm just trying to trick myself into not letting the stress get to me. But once it's handled, it will all be downhill from there.  It's just the question of HOW to handle it.  That's what is throwing me for a loop.  I don't even know where. to. start.  If there were a simple guidebook on all of this that was foolproof, I'd take care of it and it'd be overwith.  I feel as if any wrong turn could dramatically alter my life in a negative way.  And I'm handling it pretty well, all things considered.  So there is that (sigh of relief).

Anyway, I think my entries from now-forth will be very similar to how they have been, as I am very much the same person, and although a shy, insecure person with those I'm unfamiliar with, I'm extremely secure privately in who I am, which these blogs should absolutely reflect.  However, as I'm battling some things right now, you may also see more stuff on stress-management.  The entries may have a more personal twist because I'm not only trying to guide you, but I am also using my own logic to help myself navigate life.

And yes, to those who know me in person, and hopefully those who are reading the blog can see this as well, I'll still be the same goofy, happy-go-lucky, adventurous person.  That person who is absolutely NOT afraid to make a, "fool," of themselves or say something outlandish because some silly common norm dictates that is somehow, "wrong."  I may blush, but deep down I'm always proud of everything I do that comes across as silly or embarrassing.  Because I know that none of those things matter.  And I know what actually DOES matter.  And that's a lot more than what some person judging me by a joke I made can say.

Without values, you've got nothing.

So that is where I am right now :)  And I do plan to write in here in the future, but I am not giving you a due date.  I don't like those :)

Take care for now.

Part 1: My Response to 25 Disappointments You Deal With When You’re 25

Everybody I'm back :)  I got a job, and finally have my first 2 day weekend in three weeks.  All of the new activity has enveloped me and I've managed to not blog for quite a while now.  I'm learning how to create a balance.  But I still value this blog dearly.  So keep expecting me back.

Original Article Here

If anyone isn't aware here, I'm 25 years old.  And if you are smart, you won't let that cloud how you see my views/motivations/thoughts in this blog.  However, when I came upon this article today, I felt so passionately about my responses to each point, I decided it might be fun to share with you all how I feel in the blog.  And then continue with my normal style of entries here on the blog--since those are really what I enjoy doing--guiding others, sharing with others, and giving some perspectives that aren't often shared--but are very important.

1. Thinking that by 25, you’d be working your dream job.

I did recall that I felt this way in highschool.  That by 25, I'd have it all together and I'd be, I suppose, finally a 'Professional Adult.'  What I've learned now is that, the, 'Professional Adult,' doesn't exist, regardless of what age you are.  We all have our own strengths that excel beyond what people our age, and even much older ages can aspire to, some more than others.  But we also have our faults.  For instance, little considerations like moving the car seat back after using someone else's car sometimes escape me.  Maybe this isn't an age thing, but a simple quirk, as I don't value the prospect of doing small things like this for other people as crucial, though when I remember to do it, I do it.  I work in makeup now, something I adore doing, but the job is just a basic, foot in the door position.  And while I am satisfied with that, the cloudy vision of a successful adult I had when I was 17 is much different now that I am 25.  I don't believe that having your dream job makes you a successful person at all now, now that I'm 25.  It makes you, possibly happier.  But it's not something everyone gets to have.  And it is NOT what defines you as a truly successful person.  My fervent belief is that your success comes from within.

2. Coming to realize that you don’t know as much about the world as you thought you knew.

Every month, every year, I find that I learn more about how little I actually know.  If you are smart, you'll realize this too.  With wisdom, comes the realization that there is more to discover.  More to be open-minded to.  More to accept, good or bad.  In highschool, I used to think everything was solid when you were an adult, and I just didn't get life yet.  Life is full of questions.  Life is full of finding out about things that you didn't know or didn't realize--some of it truly valuable and a lot of it can be forgotten.  And I've found, in the last few years, it isn't at all about how MUCH you know.  It's about what you value.  How you treat others.  How kind you are.  The loving way (or the scolding way, if needed--consider how crucial the situation actually is in the scheme of things) you stand up for what is right.  Your open-mindedness.  Your reasoning.  Knowing not to obsess over the petty things or get upset about things that aren't important.  Being able to let go of when other people make little mistakes based on their own insecurities.  Having good judgement of other people's behavior, but not being judgmental of them.  Those capabilities.  There's no chart for it.  You just have to reason and be open to different opinions, and accept you'll make mistakes, regardless of age.  I make mistakes all the time, but I still firmly believe I am a successful adult.  If you can balance all of that to the best of your capabilities, in my opinion, you're a successful adult.

3. Finding out exactly how much of your paycheck is eaten up by taxes.

Yep.

4. Finding out that supporting yourself isn’t nearly as exciting as you thought it would be — before you actually had to support yourself.

Maybe it's the independent side of me, but I honestly am thrilled with the idea of supporting myself, and have been thrilled with it for at least 5 years now.  However, while I don't expect a fantasy, the prospect of the relief I will feel is exciting to me.  The unnecessary amount of parental guilt trips I've tolerated, all the while fully knowing I'm handling things to the best of my capabilities in each scenario, provoked this from desire to need in me years ago.  Not being able to support myself has only caused me much unhappiness, and for a while I truly felt helpless on how to turn things around, because my physical capabilities didn't always match with what was expected from me, so there didn't seem to be an easy way out.  Maybe rather, my view of supporting myself isn't exactly a fantasy, but it's the release of a burden for me, the burden of having to listen to and feel bad about all of the, 'advice,' that didn't ring true for me because it was based on life experiences completely different than my own.  I now no longer have to tolerate not being listened to or having my circumstances not considered (or even accepted) by those who I value.  Just in getting a job, I've been so much happier, mainly because I am being treated with the respect I deserved all along.  And it'd also be enjoyable to have my own house where I don't have to worry about upsetting someone because I left a plate on the couch. :)  A cute quirk of the person who does this, nevertheless, I want my own place.

5. Living on your own isn’t as glamorous as was expected.

Hm, not sure I ever expected any home more than meager because I wasn't sure I'd ever find a job I'd enjoy enough to make good money from! :)  I suppose in highschool, I dreamed of a fantasy.  But it wasn't a new realization at age 25, for me.  From a young age, I have always felt that you should never trade happiness for money.  I didn't want to work hard in school and trade years of work and money for something I would be unhappy with, but had to stick to.  I'm glad I pressed on.  I'm finally seeing results, and even though, right now, they're small, I'm grateful. (But by no means did I miss out on the college loan train... See #12)

6. Having to accept that working just about always sucks.

Pretty much.  Even a dream job has its ups and downs.  I have had this realization, because I did have an unrealistic view that many people enjoyed their jobs far more than I thought they did in the past.  While I expected a job that wouldn't be the greatest, I was willing to do it if that meant I wouldn't be wasting valuable time and money on MORE college and loans for something I wouldn't want to do.  However, now that I have a job I can actually see myself enjoying, it's still hard work.  I didn't expect to be easy due to the nature of this foot-in-the-door job, but I'm noticing more and more that everyone I meet seems to be pretty drained after a work day--and in general.

7. Coming to accept that days are short and that there’s little time for things other than work and running personal errands.

As we get older, days seem to get shorter and shorter.  I feel as if time escapes me quickly every day, because I have so many ideas and dreams and things I want to do, they never get finished.  Whereas when I was a child, days stretched on like miles before me.  And while I am still young, I'm wondering where the time is flying to, because it seems I never have enough!

8. Being disappointed with the people you meet.

Here is one that I actually DISAGREE with.  I've found that ALMOST everyone seems to have a tic.  A little thing you can do or say that gets them to start behaving kindly again.  I am aware a lot of people are in a bad mood because they are unhappy, and it has nothing to do with me.  And I'm also aware everyone has something new to teach me.  So it's always my quest to cure with kindness and with being down-to-earth.  People love it when you are real to them and you try to see things from their perspective.  And they also appreciate when you are kind to them, even if they are not being kind to you.  It doesn't always work, but when it does, it certainly makes you feel good.  And I've found most people just want to be treated with kindness and respect, and they are angry because they feel that few will.  There are some people who just behave so terribly, so closed-mindedly, so condescendingly, so rude and prejudice to others, that I have to scold their behavior, through words, in a way that will make them re-think their actions, and kindness will not do because it is not deserved.  But I'm finding that, at least where I'm usually located, that hasn't been the case for 99.9% of people.  And do you know how kindness cures?  Sometimes you can fix a problem before it even starts.  Just keep people informed, tell them why you are doing what you are doing, and be understanding and nice to them.  It's hard to know that YOU aren't the reason for their behavior--and they feel the exact same way about you.  So be as open and real about your actions as possible, all the while being kind--and it HELPS. :)  We're all very different so I can't guarantee you won't be disappointed in someone else.  But it's enjoyable to be kind to each other through our differences, and it helps us all be more accepting of one another.

9. Being disappointed with your preferred sex.

I'm just going to say Yes for this one.  I am accepting of people as people, but you are taking it to a whole other level when you ask me who I'll choose for a relationship partner.  That's completely different.  I may have to LIVE with them one day.  You know what I'm saying?  I don't think I'll ever find that person!!!  It's been a struggle to the point I'm giving up on it.

10. Losing friends due to different life directions.

I wouldn't say I've lost a lot of friends of recent, mainly because I haven't KEPT very many friends--the ones I lost, I lost long ago!!!  I learned this lesson a while ago.  You just get busy and forget.  But the loyal ones, the ones who are understanding of who you are (even if you are both different) stand by no matter how much time has flown.  I hope I can find friends I'm close enough to one day to spend more time with, but so far, it's been a struggle, one that I've accepted and am okay with.

11. Realizing that most of your friends are awful friends, and then cutting them out of your life.

Would you consider me a braggart if I said that I've pretty much always been too good of a judge of character for this?  Hasn't happened!!!  If they were bad, I cut them out early.  Like I said, we all have our strengths and weaknesses, regardless of what age we are, and I honestly think this is one of my strengths.  If it's not yours, let me give you a hug and say that that is TOTALLY okay.  You are cutting them out now, so good job :)  You realized and you are fixing it.  It wasn't your fault you didn't realize in the beginning, if you didn't know better, you didn't know better.

12. All that school debt that you still have to pay off — and will continue to have to pay off for a long time.

Already know, am passionate about, and fight against this subject.  I feel children are pressured into this, and often they aren't given the guidance to know better than to attend places that are expensive when they aren't sure of what they want to do.  It's a very impressionable time, and people are pressuring them in this time to spend THEIR money on something they may not even be happy about in the long run.  Those loans are real, and they WILL kick you in the butt some day if you don't stay on top of them.  If you aren't utterly certain and motivated about what you want to do, and if the result of your education doesn't guarantee a spot in a field that will give you the money to pay off the loans in an adequate time period, DO NOT go to an expensive college.  The lack of education I was given on the price of my education absolutely shocks me.  And it needs to be addressed EVERYWHERE.

13. Realizing that your major only allows you to find jobs that, it turns out, you can’t stand doing.

 See above.



So, that concludes Part 1 of my response :)  To see Part 2, wait 48 hours! :)

You Could Analyze Something To Death

September 8th??  September 8th was REALLY the last time I blogged?!  So it's been 3 weeks.  Time really, really flies guys.  It doesn't matter what I am doing.  I just feel like I'm going to be 100 tomorrow.  I thought I'd blogged last a week ago!!  Are you the same?  I remember, as a kid, time used to feel like waiting for a turtle to lick up a puddle of molasses... Now I savor every moment because I feel they are disappearing like tiny grains of surface sand on a windy day.  And maybe that's the point of this blog in a way... to focus on what's big to you, because the little disappears.

Was doing some research for my other blog, and was inspired by gradients.  When one color fades into a different color, so seamlessly it almost looks like the two could be one uniform shade.  And they could, if you backed away far enough.
I wanted to compare how an artist's gradient looked from farther away to how it looked very close up, and when I saw the close-up, it occurred to me I could see the lines of blending.  It did not look seamless.  But then it occurred to me, if I could fix the imperfections and unblended lines at the close-up, and was able to get an even larger close-up of the corrected close-up, you would still see more lines of blending.  No matter how much you, "fix," something, the closer you get to it, the more imperfections you will see, down to the microscopic level.  Until you can get to the tiniest point of existence, perfection does not exist.

So, you could spend a life-time trying your darndest to get the most, "perfect," thing, look the most, "perfect," way...Please notice, I often quote (or sometimes first-letter-capitalize) the words I don't stand by.
And when you had that perfect mesh of what you believe you're supposed to have, that gradient that may as well be one object, what have you?

Well, you have something that looks very nice.

Whether it holds moral value to you is another subject entirely.

Everything you work for, everything you do, none of it truly matters--unless it has moral value to you.  Everything aside from love and happiness are just extras in your life.  And when we keep trying to fix small things, we often are, point-blank, wasting our time.  We, for some reason, are very good at blowing tiny interactions, tiny choices, tiny situations, completely out of proportion.  And because we are giving that petty list of things meaning, whatever the list and whatever the meanings are, we focus on them and forget about what will truly fulfill us.

So when I say, "You Could Analyze Something To Death," in the blog-title, I mean it heartily.  You could analyze all the tiny things that you feel need tweaked until finally, you have no more time left.  In the end, will you appreciate the product of your work more than the experiences that it took to get you to that finished product?

Whether you are at a company balancing moral and sales, or at home balancing your life, this applies to you.  People in your life will always tell you at certain points in the path, that something needs to be tweaked.  You have to make the changes on it that are worthwhile to you.  What will you be proud of more?  How something looks, or the love and happiness you gave to get yourself there?



PS: This blog is my darling.  I love writing in here, and I don't plan to stop making posts.  I'll write in here at least once a month, if not more.  Also, please feel free to ask me questions and give suggestions for topics you'd like me to discuss. :)

You're Not Normal, Thank God, So Quit Trying To Act Like It

I can totally relate to people who feel strange and different from everyone else.

I think you can too.  Can't admit it?

You have never had times where you felt like you were the only person who felt a certain way about something?  Like no one else who you were talking to could relate to it?

You never had a time in your life where what you wanted wasn't what everyone around you wanted?  Whether it be out of you or whether it be something that a lot of people want (Like children?  A certain career motive?  College?  Or a puppy?  Or even chocolate?  *Gasps*)?

Ever laughed at something that nobody else in the room thought was funny?

Or getting down to basics, there isn't some strange food combination that you really like, that nobody else would dare eat?

No??  Goodness, you are really boring......


I know I HAVE felt this way, and may I say I am a little proud of it?

No, I'm actually a LOT proud of it.  And you should be too.  That's the stuff that makes you interesting.  The stuff that people don't expect.

There's nobody I love more than the so-called, "strange," ones.  The ones who feel like they don't fit in.

The ones who, in actuality, aren't afraid to behave completely normal.  The real normal.  The one that is human, has emotions, and isn't afraid to express themselves instead of repress themselves to fit into a man-made category that our ancestors have been imposing on us for hundreds, if not thousands of years.

You see, normalcy is something that we often expect, but we never actually know.  It's phony.  It's not real.  And the unhappiest people of all are those who try to be it--because they consistently fail--and/or--they constantly expect it out of other people, judging them, and generally living a miserable existence full of negativity and hypocrisy.


In my book...you can be happy...or you can be, "normal."

Go live your life!!!!!  Parachute or something... Laugh your ass off at something no one else in the room will.  You only live once.  Live well.  Don't put yourself in a box because you are afraid.  You'll only trap yourself.

*Laughs*...Sigh...ohhh... "Normal."
It's so overrated.

Have fun :)

It's Okay To Ride Up To A Dead End...

There might be a beautiful sunset there.

Or there may not be.  It's still perfectly okay.

I like to go on bike rides in the evening sometimes when the sun is setting.  I'll ride as far away as I can from the sun, maybe 20-40 minutes before the sun sets, and then, when I see it start to set, as fast as I can, I ride my bike to the closest view possible of the sunset.  It's my time to look at everything around me, feel everything around me, and take nothing for granted.  It's also exhilarating!

Today when I was doing this, I noticed something about myself.  I got nervous every time I got close to a dead end.  Worried, that because I didn't know if there would be another road around the corner, that people might laugh at my bad directional skills.

How silly this is, yet I've clearly been trained to do this.  We all do this at points in our lives.  We don't want to be seen doing something that might look foolish, when actually, what we should feel foolish about--is the fact that we feel foolish to begin with about whatever we are doing.  Would you feel foolish doing it if you were on your own and no one else knew about it?  There comes a point where you have to realize that it doesn't MATTER what people think.  Do what makes you happy.  So many of us choose to go the safe route.  The one where we know people will not judge us.  This is often at the sacrifice of our own happiness.  Why miss out on the things that we enjoy simply because other people, usually ignorant of our intentions and quick to judge, waste their time making uninformed conclusions about us (instead of focusing on what is actually important in life--even more of a reason to not care about what those people think).  As long as we aren't harming others, it really doesn't matter one flip what others have to say about what we are doing.

The most adventurous path, the path that is right for you, is not always on the road where people travel.  You might end up in a valley staring at the sky for a while.  Or you might end up lost, or working really hard to find yourself in a better place.  Or you may take a wrong turn at a dead end.  But the last thing you should be doing is worrying what others think about it.  Make the life choices, and the little choices, that are going to make you the most happy.  You cannot base these off of what other people think of you without sacrificing some happiness along the way.  The biggest regrets are lost chances.  Do you truly regret that you chose not to achieve something you did not want to do just because other people wanted you to?  Priorities need to be rearranged... YOUR life is about YOUR happiness.  Not others.  Things you could have done to improve your life--for YOU--that you missed out on, should be your only regrets, if any.  So go for it!!

(Of course, please try to be conscious and help animals, the world, and humanity while you are at it.  Little choices count.)

Knowledge Is Power: Expect People Not To Like You.

There are people in the world.

Right now.

At this very moment.

Who you haven't met yet.

Who you are going to meet.

Who aren't going to like you.

And some of them will even, by choice, treat you like complete doodoo.


Yep.  So accept it now.  Because guess what.  It is like that for absolutely everybody.


We have heard this phrase a quadrabajillion times: "There is no such thing as the perfect person."
It's repeated a lot because it's completely factual.  However, repetition always does one of two things.  Numero uno: It adds emphasis.  Numero dos: It takes away emphasis.  And in this case, I think dos is the winner.  We lose the essence of what people are trying to tell us because this phrase has been used so many times without elaboration.

I'm here to tell ya that there isn't one person in the world that everybody likes.  I don't even think most people are liked by most people, unless they did something super heroic and helpful to the world.  Or they're a really witty, adorable child.  And even then a lot of people don't like children.  And even then, a majority of the people who do like them, still get super annoyed by them.

You know what, there are people who don't even like PUPPIES.

So don't be greedy and expect that everybody is going to like YOU.  Get over it that some person at the store today was frustrated with you for no apparent reason.  That's life.  The sooner you start expecting that not everyone is going to like you, the less it will bother you when someone comes along and is rude to you.  Surprises are experiences that tend to traumatize us and lead us to question ourselves--you can use them as beneficial learning experiences.  Expectations tend to fly in one ear and out the other.  If you expect people will sometimes not like you, guess what?  It doesn't hurt as much when you find out that they don't.


But even then...

I would say that most of the time...

The way people treat you,

The way people look at you,

The way people act when you are around,

No matter what they may tell you--

Has absolutely nothing to do with you.


Because everybody has bad days.  Everyone sleeps poorly at times.  Everyone goes through something that makes them miserable and unhelpful toward the people around them, even if it is just temporarily.  And you WILL catch someone at a bad moment.  Because there's simply too many of us for it not to happen.  And I'm sure someone has caught you at a bad moment too.  We all have made each other feel bad.  It's even more of a reason for us to try to figure out how to treat each other the right way, which is kindly.

Now what I do not want, is for someone to use this as an excuse for their bad behavior.  You may have made some mistakes that made someone pretty unhappy with you.  OWN IT.  You are strong enough to handle it.  Just do it.  That's how you grow up.  I'm mostly referring here, to complete strangers.  To people who are around you who you barely know or don't know on a personal enough basis for them to have anything against you.


Children and adult children (regardless of whether you're 70 or 7), will often pick on others to boost their own egos.  And they'll cruelly pick out your biggest insecurities and inflate them, make them out to be so horrible, so you can feel like a horrible person, while they get to feel important because of it.  Or so they think.

Guess who the sad one is here?  Not you.  Because you know better.

They are sad because they have no higher personality trait to redeem themselves with.  No wit, no interesting thoughts, no current value, such as being a good person, that would keep them from being so silly.  And not only that.  People who make others sad on purpose, tend to be pretty sad themselves.  They don't know what else to do with themselves, other than to pick at others, to boost their own self-esteem.  Isn't that sad?  Isn't it wonderful to boost your own self-esteem instead by helping others and making them feel good?  When people are stuck deep in a mental hole, they forget about what is really important.  I truly believe that some of these people are so joyless when they do this, that they forget what it means to be happy, and so they walk around making everyone else miserable because it is all they know.  Then there are the others, who are not intelligent enough to know that the most valuable companions will adore them for them, not because they stepped on other people in order to look good.  They will squash themselves in the process because they attracted valueless friends.

People like to call that karma.  It's common sense.


Breaking things down, just know two things:

Not everyone is going to like you.

Those who treat you poorly are sad themselves.


And remember that:

Everyone else is going through those last two things with all the people around them too, just like you are.

So cut them some slack.