Owning My First Amendment Right

I always have felt an intense sense of guilt for confronting people when I think they are wrong.  It's always seemed like I am disturbing the peace, or hurting their feelings.  And lately, I have come to a sense of peace with this.  I've come to a conclusion, and I'm no longer bothered by it anymore--my being open, in the end, protects other people.

That said, I have a line.  There has to be a line.  I don't say something EVERY single time I don't like something--that would be incredibly negative and reactive.  I only say it when it truly counts and I KNOW that decisions will affect others negatively, and that by not saying something, I would be hurting others even more.  And I think at younger ages, it was harder for me to decide when these lines occurred, and I often remained quiet and would beat myself up about it later.  Not anymore.

From now on, I am open when I think a choice is immoral and affects a large group of people.  I am transparent about it.  And I say it immediately.  Not to be rude, not to cause drama, but because I know that this will affect people negatively and will continue to if I don't say something from the start.  I also want these choices to be really well-thought out.  Can you imagine a world where people, without thinking, constantly made choices that affect others negatively without thinking twice about it?  Unfortunately, we can all agree that this ALREADY happens far too often.  Sometimes just alerting someone to the act is enough to help others, at least for the future.

A sense of transparency and honesty not only creates trust between myself and other people, but creates fear in those who are prone to lying because they know, not only do they have to hold themselves accountable with me, but all of those who I open up to.  And they know that because my intentions are always pure of heart, those people will trust me to be open for the right reasons.

If I were a selfish person, someone who didn't care about other people, their well-being, their happiness and their success...I would not be a reliable person for any sort of information.  However since all of that is my top-priority, it's pretty hard not to trust me and rely on me as a solid source of protection, information, and transparency.

I don't trust people as I did before.  I think deep down, people are good.  But too often, good people rationalize poor decisions, and they don't realize how much they hurt others.  As human-beings, it's our duty to alert people to poor decision-making when it hurts themselves or others.  And too often we rationalize poor decisions.  We sensationalize the quiet, call them graceful, and say they are peaceful, classy.  Yet these same people are cowards and don't speak up when the going gets tough.  They allow bad things to happen to people, because they are afraid of how they will look--the definition of selfish.  I don't want people around me who aren't able to speak out when something is wrong.  I want protectors, I want heroes, I want people who are strong and can speak their minds.  They come in all shapes and colors, all formats of speech.  And yes, some are quieter than others.  But I want to see people's ability to speak out for others.  I want to see leadership in others.  I want to see love for other people, with every decision other people make.  The need to impress needs to be forgotten.  It's selfish, it hurts others. Life should not be about how you look, but what you've done to help others.  How you've committed to that and what you have sacrificed to do that, makes you strong, makes you brave, and makes you a better person and the world a better place.

Peace and Me

October 14, 2016


I wrote this for a reason, not to display.
I have purpose with every word I say.
Setting emotions aside lets just table lay
Forget about petty disarray

I'm waiting for a sentence that makes sense
I'm waiting to believe there is a chance
I'm waiting for my hope to be renewed
I'm waiting to not feel like we are through

I'm too strong to be unhappy and not laugh
I'm too aware to be go through the worst and not be cheerful
I've been through too much to not feel like I'm lucky
You see all the good and forget I am a person

My brain has begun to shut you out
With every word I say, you have doubt
I've tried countless ways to change my enunciation
Practice and practice my communication
Manipulate my tones, my words,
The emotional impact and intricacies of my sentences,
All to say the same things you've never understood

You are to think every single thing you want of me
I just can't be present
Your love makes me care about things I never do
I don't want to
You believe you are here to help me
Help yourself to the door

Four years have flown away
Yet I've been here to stay
My walls have turned to steel
I've forgotten how to feel
I may never get what I need
That's the cross I'll have to heed
I know alone, I'll be just fine.

Fairy tales are for people who haven't seen the real world
They're a common self-absorbent fantasy
I'm aware some people don't see a full life-time
I don't need to hold on to you and me

The world is full of high expectations
Most of those expectations are absolute crap
If you don't reach something, you don't reach it
You can do what you want to do
You truly define your path

I have failed you in 100,000 ways
You had several issues with me every single day
I don't exceed your expectations,
The subject of an on-going operation
Yet my views are very much the same

The living heart is just a theory
My real one beats and beats just fine
The idea of true love is a circus
It makes a nice story by design

If I'm happy, that's what matters
There's so much in life I love and like
I don't need one to complete me
I've got it all because I have got my mind

We create what we believe
We create every single thing we see
Our lives are partially manufactured fantasy
Justifications, rules, and dignity
Yet there's no way to oversimplify
The peace we can have, we can be
I've always found that peace when it was just me

I'm Very Tired

I am becoming resigned to the fact that I can't have everything exactly as I want it, so I will continue to write in this blog with it's, in my opinion crappy, title, and possibly dated youthful entries; that I'm afraid to read; and get over it because, obviously, it shouldn't matter, and I should have realized that all along.  I love that run-on sentence.  It's exactly how I speak, when I'm annoyed my sentences become very blurred together and sardonic.

I am very tired of being polite when things don't go a certain way.
I'm very tired of catering to the whims of people whose values I don't respect.
I'm very tired of everything everyone else is, and I'm not afraid to say it again like many have before me, above the voices of the casual quiet.  I'm not a casual-thinking person.  I never have been and never will be.  I don't want to be.  I don't plan to be.  Things that bother you should be addressed.  Yes, even if they've been before by others.

I'm awake.

I don't want to go to sleep.

I want to address the unaddressed and the dressed.

I keep hoping.

I speak because I have hope.  If I believed in nothing I'd say nothing.  I speak when I know things can be better.

Allow me to speak.

Ignore my format and just read.

It's the message, not the passage.


I am tired.

How To Be a Strong Person

You want to hear my inner voice??  I'm calling to all of you.  These are my innermost beliefs, the things that push me forward, through the piles and piles of bullshit.

I am at a point in my life where I truly feel solid on the fact that we create our own problems.  We are the manufacturers of complexity.  And we thrive on it.  Those thriller movies/books where the plot is so entangled that we can’t not think that the author is a mad genius.  We live for that crap, and understandably as those things are fascinating.  But do we need that in our lives??  Hell no.

Day to day, we really need simplicity in order to have peace of mind.  And our brains are complex.  So sometimes, a lot of times, that is complicated.  It isn’t really natural for a lot of us.  And yet we wait for this to happen, sometimes chase it and make things harder.  You have to actively seek solitude and actively create it, actively fight anxious/unproductive thoughts.  You can’t just wait for it because it won’t happen, like anything else.  YOU are responsible.  Not God, not anybody.  YOU.  And I will be the one to tell you that because I do think a reliance on religion can cloud the path for a lot of us.  The weight’s on YOUR personal shoulders, to figure your shit out.  Not God’s/Allah’s/Whomever’s.

If it rains out, it rains out.  If you are angry at someone, you don’t have to be.  You can, not like someone without wasting your time thinking about them, most of the time (I’m not talking about complex emotional healing here, mostly just the day to day, ups and downs of our own emotions/inner peace).

Another thing I want to mention is—we aren’t telling each other crap…Why, because the 50s were 60 years ago.  What happens when you tell someone something you think is important?  If you are right, you have fixed something.  If you are wrong, hopefully they or someone in the room will fix you.  That’s called GROWTH.  So say whatever the hell you think.  Because if you don’t, nobody gets better.  You are an integral part of this world.  Your personal view is unique to yourself.  SHARE it.  You need it, everybody needs it.  It’s stupid to think that you don’t count because often the norm is incredibly wrong or could severely be improved upon.

I know it’s incredibly easy to fall into the thought that what has been done for years and years must be right.  Guess what, so were a lot of extremely shitty practices.  Racism.  Sexism.  Rape, yes these are all integral, shitty-ass parts of human culture that need to stop.  There’s a lot more than needs to be fixed.  Things aren’t close to perfect yet.  You don't need to be normal because guess what, society's version of "normal??"  It ain't perfect.  We haven't even begun to encroach on what an acceptable human being is.  Little things you do are a part of making that better.

Let’s look stupid together so we can make the world a better place.  That’s called being a strong person.  It gets easier and easier the more you push.  Forget how to be "normal."  That will restrain you.  That is bullshit.

Alright?

Also, calm the fuck down.

Thanks.


PS:  I leave you with this final thought--Innocence is, at ground-level, the purity of fitting into society's norms.  It gives two feet to walk on with no substance.  It feeds expectations bearing no fruit.  Grow.

Loss

Loss is a life lesson that we all eventually go through.  It's difficult to address loss, and--obviously--is a commonly avoided subject.  The idea of losing loved ones, or even losing acquaintances, can seem unfathomable, at least until death happens.  And then it does and it's a slap in the face.  The wondering--what you could have done--and you suffer loss, not only for the person, but for all the time you could have spent with them.  Then on top of that, you also realize things that you never thought you'd realize, like, how silly you were for having any judgments of that person, how wrong you were for thinking things about them that absolutely should have no bearing on the goodness of their soul.  Anything stupid that you may have thought about that person suddenly appears, even if it might not have been as big of a deal as what you are making it now. Left raw, open, and exposed, for you to clean up like dust underneath a shelf that got moved to another part of the room.  But you realize most of your initial worries after losing a loved one were silliness, the product of the anxiety and grief such an event can create.  And, sometimes they aren't.  In any case, we all must find our own way to move on, and like everything else in life, no two paths are the same.

Each person we meet has a clock with a timer on it, and we don't know what day that timer is going to stop.  Appreciate the fact that they are around, give them a smile, give them encouragement, because we have no idea what they are going through or if/when we will see them again.  We all experience pain.  We are never ever alone in our pain, and in fact, we are just as alone in our happiness, yet we feel as if we are alone in our pain because most of us are too afraid to share it.  It's still a cultural taboo we need to overcome.  A taboo that, if overcame, would benefit a lot of people who feel unnecessarily isolated.  Unhappiness is the nature of living in a world full of expectations, human rights issues, unpredictability and instability.  Happiness is the ability to see past all that, the ability to get yourself out of situations that aren't good for you, and to not take what is truly meaningful and right in front of us for granted.  That includes not taking for granted the people around us, the ones we love and the ones we hardly know, with the knowledge that life is short.

Furthering on happiness, as it is a very relevant topic when we discuss death, mostly for the people who have to recover from their loss of a loved one, but also in situations where someone has passed before their time--We all deserve to be happy.  But it isn't handed to us on a silver platter.  Tragedy is inevitable for everyone.  Happy things are also inevitable for everyone, but we have to take the time to appreciate them.  Wealthy or poor, in sickness or in health, happiness is absolutely something every person on earth must work for.  It's earned like wages.  And often, you've got to wade through a bunch of crap in order to get to it, but it's always worth it.

I have been shocked by death of an acquaintance who I thought was an incredibly happy, wonderful light in this world.  We never know what is going on in people's lives, and often their behavior shows no reflection of the truth.  Some people show their emotions, some are talented at hiding them.  A happy person's mental state and/or personal lives could be falling apart just as much as someone who is unhappy.  Someone who has the popular 'goal lifestyle' could be miserable, someone with an unpopular, even difficult way of living could be absolutely thrilled.  Things are not always as they seem.  We all take joy from different things.  This is why more than ever, we should value making people around us feel good, even if they are not behaving the most kindly.  You have no idea what's going on behind closed doors, no idea how the way you treat them could affect the quality of their day, affect their choices, affect positive outcomes.  And while in all likelihood, your words as a stranger will be forgotten, it does not hurt to try to be positive at the right times.  Respect is a right for every creature in this world.

Appreciate the beauty of truly kind people.  Embrace and encourage other people's happiness.   You never know when your opportunity to do that will be gone.  Life goes by incredibly fast.  Relish it, make it a priority to have your moments with people.  You never know when someone is going to be gone and you can't put a smile on their face anymore.  You never know how something little you do could change someone's life.  Just some thoughts!! :)  I think we all get too wrapped up in the little and forget to focus on the big, even if we've thought to before, there's just a lot of crap to wade through and distract us!! ;)

Take care guys :)
--L

PS:  I think the only time I mention I love songs on here, they're probably by Coldplay...but I really like their new song called Hymn For The Weekend.  It's beautiful!!!

Never Be Complacent Because You Are Afraid

Hi :)

I know I need to get back on here and write another blog when my facebook posts start getting longer and longer...The proof is in the pudding, I guess I have been feeling inspired lately.

So usually, when I DO write on here, I come with a rampant mission of topics to discuss, but today I'm just going to go with the flow.  I know I have a whole lot of things I could talk about, we'll see where my brain takes me.


Usually what starts me is things I am learning in my own life, so we'll start there.  What is the biggest thing I am learning lately?

I am not going to get a damn thing in my life/job unless I not only ask for it, but demand it, remind the people I'm asking, keep showing how great I am at whatever I'm doing, and don't back down.  The things I want are NOT going to be handed to me.  They are going to be given to the person who is demanding harder than I am.

There isn't going to be a change in my life unless I make it.  Life ain't no Cinderella story.  If I want something different, I have to earn it.  It's very annoying, but I'm pretty sure it's like this for most people.

There's always going to be more people who disagree with me or just don't understand me than people who are going to be on my side.  But that doesn't mean I'm wrong.  In fact most of the time, when I do have a conversation with people, they're either very impressed with what I have to say, or they're belligerent and their counterpoints, are so stupid that they only encourage me.  And sometimes, I am just plain wrong.  But being wrong about a couple things doesn't make you wrong about everything.  I think people are afraid to speak out because they are afraid of being wrong.  I love being wrong because it teaches me new things--I want to get my words as far out as possible because often, I am very wise and I think I can help people--and when I am wrong, I'm helping myself by learning.  I don't claim to know it all by speaking out about things that I have a solid logical argument behind.  I do claim to be proud of my own opinions, and I think that's important as long as you are using logic and self-improvement as your motivation, and not selfish reasons.

My life is just always going to be hard.  It's never been easy, it never will be easy.  All I can do now is laugh and realize that it is what I make of it.  I can act like everything's so horrible or really, I can appreciate the blessings I do have.  And sometimes, I can flamboyantly express the 'suckery' of it all, because every one of us is entitled to do that a few times a week.  But, at the same point, I'm not going to make a big deal out of small things by letting them take over my life.  Self-expression and depression are two different things.  Leading me to my next point--

People will always make a big deal out of little things.  Often, as a consequence, this blurs what the actual truth is for people who are just listening in on a conversation, and can cause the weak-minded to see things unclearly, which is why you must always try to listen to things objectively and form your own conclusions.  For instance, when I listen to someone vent about the behavior of someone else.  I can objectively watch this and, while, maybe I don't approve of the behavior of the person who is the subject of the discussion, in the same token, often this would never bother me enough to say anything about it.  To me it's like, you're behaving poorly and you need to improve--but unless you are TRULY hurting others, it's really not something for other people to get all fussy about.  And at my work, watching people get upset because things were left in places where they don't go--that's just hilarious.  It's amazing how things that don't matter can get blown out of proportion by the right people.  Or even when I'm bothered by something.  I've literally had to vocalize--"Hey--it bothers me, but it's not a big deal," because the person I was telling this to was acting like it was horrible that something small and trivial was bothering me (it was loud yelling at a football game, fyi).  When I told this person, who I love dearly that, they were simply like, "Oh," with an -oops- look on their face.  I just plugged my ears, grimaced, and moved on with my life.  Lol.

The title of my book will be, "Dear People, I May Be Annoyed But My Life Didn't End Because Someone Put Eggs In My Frittata."
Life is what it is and you get what you get, you're annoyed by what you're annoyed by, you don't like what you don't like, you go through what you go through and it's NOT a big deal.  Unless you make it that.

When I read over this, it's clear that the main focus of my life is not anything we're taught to focus on--it's self-improvement and the pure happiness that comes with that.  Push others and push yourself ONLY where it counts, and don't cause yourself anxiety by worrying about things that don't matter.  Speak your mind, learn, and you may be surprised by how right you are and how wrong other people are.  And if you are wrong, you may be surprised by how much you've learned and how glad you are for saying the wrong thing--because without doing that, you would never have been taught something new.  Live your life, say what you need to say.  Go where you need to go.  Never be complacent because you are afraid.

The Convincing and The Unconvincing. Addressing Stupidity.

First of all, I'm feeling a bit insecure about this post.  I hope what I am writing isn't just plain common sense and that it's actually teaching some people a thing or two.  I worry that I'm just writing a lot of stuff that people already have got figured out.  I hope I am helping at least a good chunk of whoever is reading!!

Hope I haven't made any promises of more regular future blogs on here because those have clearly been foiled.  My apologies if I have and I'll try not to do it in the future.  Regularity on these isn't a feasible thing for me at this current point in time.  Maybe now that I've said that, I'll post more?  That's usually how it goes with me.  I try to do this for enjoyment and I think lately I have been so focused on other things that adding blogs in as a requirement to prevent negligence would have just been stressful for me...so well, they got neglected.  I still am happy to have and write in these, so pardon the irregularity.  Hope it just adds to the charm?  Enough about that!!


TO THE ENTRY:

I've learned that often I over think common sense things.  I'll try to delve into something simple and come up with reasons why it is basic knowledge.  In actuality, these simple things are what they are, and are, in fact, nothing to argue against, but should be used as reasons for doing other things.  To come up with a reason for these things, would be hyper-analyzing and over-complicating matters.  I think when you get down to the nitty-gritty, sometimes something IS WHAT IT IS.  And saying absolutely anything else about it would be over-doing it and trying to add depth to something where depth does not exist.  Getting a little too creative/a little too close to being obsessive compulsive.  I've found often in my life that sometimes just saying a certain phrase with confidence is much better to sway people with than also giving them the reasons.  Because, now, giving reasons, you give people more room for objection.  If something is what it is, well, there's no debating it, is there?  But reasons make things more complicated, and easier to argue against, sometimes necessarily, and sometimes not.

You can totally abuse this, and I fear a bit at handing out the info I put in the paragraph above, but I think enough people have figured it out, regardless.  There are times when you NEED reasons and there are times when something is actually so simple that you do not.

For instance, if you are late for something.  You can simply say, I am late.  And that stands strong on it's own, albeit causing the person who you are telling you are late to wonder.  But once you come up with reasons for it--they become excuses.  Excuses the latter party can actually argue against.  We all know how this debate works, it's one of the debates that, no doubt, all of humankind experiences, quite a few times in their lifetime.  Whether the person you are late to seeing deserves an excuse is at your discretion.  I would hope you would know when it's rude to not give your excuse and when it isn't, but a lot of people unfortunately don't, and I'm not delving into that right now, plus I think it's a little different for everyone.  There's a balanced approach and an approach that comes from nonsense, whether that's egoism, or other strange, fantastical values.


There's a totally irresponsible way to clarify thoughts that I fear this entry could start the seed in, in irrational or young minds.  And that is, to just make a short statement on some radical belief, for instance, "Stars are alive." (pathetic example, but nevertheless) and then not have an answer because you act as if this statement is a given when it's absolutely not.  Do we believe stars are alive?  Is that a common thought?  The person who says it may act like EVERYBODY thinks stars are alive, but that doesn't mean they are!!!  You better give some good, viable reasons if you are going to make a statement like that and are expecting sane, balanced, mature people to believe you.  [I add the three adjectives sane, balanced, and mature because I think without three out of three, you could probably get a couple of people who only has two out of three to believe you without much trying.  And some people value that--usually people who are dumb and/or just plain nasty and manipulative...They'll get a large enough number of stupid people to believe them until the number is so high that the smart ones start questioning whether they are right or not, even though when you look at the facts, they are wrong.]

There are people who absolutely WILL make statements like "Stars are alive," and will completely expect you to side with them, with absolutely no reason, simply because, point-blank, these people are vain, egotistical, and idiotic.  They need you to appeal to their ego--it gives them a rush, and satisfies their need for acceptance and their insecure need to have followers.  Honestly, I don't really get it, and it's taking me a hellish time to figure out why the hell they do it, as I would be insulted by people who are only liking me because I sound powerful and not because I sound logical.  It's not a valid reason to be worshiped--and on the off-side, I don't want to be worshiped because I don't consider myself or anyone else, above anyone else.  I want to be respected, because I make sense and help my surroundings, myself, and the people around me become better.  Not because I make random, crazy statements, that may or may not be true, and have people follow them because I can because I am powerful.  That's not real trust.  That's not kind.  That's not true or valid.  It's not real validation.  It's sheer stupidity, to be quite honest.  I don't respect it or support it and I hope you won't either.

Statements along this line that make me cringe.

Ew, why are you wearing pink, that is so last season. (why?  did someone get hurt?)
I bought this because ___ bought it. (um, okay, what's the reason?)
Everyone loves _driving_. (Fill in the blank with anything, you still better give some reasons for such a broad statement).
People with brown hair like ____.
People with ____ are like ____.  (why?)
Married men/women are ___.
People without children are sad.
People with children are sad.
People who are single are ___.
People who hate my favorite type of music are horrible.
People who hate my favorite food are horrible.
People who ____ are emotionally unbalanced.
People who are __race or religion goes here_ are stupid. (these last two are doozies)
People who are __sexuality preference__ are bad people. (granted, a lot of "reasons" are given for this, they're just always illogical and hateful because they marginalize a large group of people whose intentions are all different, as they're all different human beings just like you and me and our sexualities do not define our moral compass...there's simply no relation...It's laughable to me that it's even still a debate, honestly, because it makes no sense.  Does the fact that I prefer wine over cheese make me a bad person too?  Or the fact that I prefer art over math?  Why is preferring boys over girls or girls over boys different?  You can't come up with a good argument and it's because there isn't one.)
You aren't supposed to do that. (why?  Parents especially--give your children reasons for why they shouldn't do things.  Let them share their opinions on why they disagree.  Don't just tell them not to because you are boss.  Teach them to be thinkers, for goodness sake.)
I do it this way because I've always done it this way. (that's never been a good reason for anything, especially in the work place where efficiency is valued and there's almost always a better way to do something.  Give some more explanation than that, please.)
I can never get better. (why not?  Logic can help you overcome depression and at least sadness, did you know that?  It can help you gain confidence because it causes you think of ways to come out of it on your own.  That's a whole other subject of discussion though.)
It will never get better. (why not?)
Oh look, even though the whole direction of the article clearly meant this, this one sentence here metaphorically meant something else, so I think that is what the writer really meant. (that's an example of using very poor evidence and poor analytical skills to make a point.)


These types of phrases, I think due to their confidence, have actually driven a lot of people to believe what's being said--but without good reasoning, these phrases are in absolutely no way valid and should not be trusted whatsoever.

So when is making a general statement and not giving any reason behind it acceptable?


When you share a preference:
I like the color blue.
I like writing.
I like boys.
I love to dance and sing.
I love people who are open-minded and true to themselves.
I enjoy math.
I prefer stained clothes over worrying about being perfect all the time.
I prefer spaghetti.

I think that's pretty much a given.  You can explain why you like something, but you don't have to, because the truth is, for whatever reason, you just enjoy it.  Am I right?

When you are declaring an action:
I did this.
I made this.
I will do this.
I won't do this.

It may or may not be true, but you don't have to give a reason because generally there's no argument against actions, as they are what they are.


When you do have to give a reason for what you are saying, is typically when you are expressing a belief.  Not something matter-of-fact.  But I think that a lot of people have a hard time separating what is matter-of-fact, between what is opinion.  And while it seems trivial, it's one of the most important skills you can have in life, not only to express yourself, but to protect yourself and the ones around you from being manipulated and used by people with poor intentions.  It also helps prevent you from over-explaining your preferences to people who are truly just being judgmental for no good reason (something I to this day struggle with, and I think it's what inspired this entry!).

I hope I've helped. :)  I don't think a redundant conclusion paragraph is necessary, so adios.  I'd love to answer questions on this.