(First of all, I didn't mean to make this post around certain loved ones of mine's birthdays. That's sheer coincidence and I just realized this about 35 min into writing the entry. This entry is not directed to anyone at all, and is meant to be helpful, fun, and insightful for anyone who stumbles upon it, just like every other entry I've ever written in the blog).
HI party people!!! (I'm only saying that because it sounds so ridiculous here and my sense of humor is kind of to put things/say things in situations where they completely don't seem to go! I hear several grasshoppers in the difference, some mouse-clicks over some X's, and I can almost feel the glaring scowls at the computer screen right now...but I don't care, you're going to have to deal with my unique sense of humor, because it's here to stay.)
I have had some time and with time... I GET TO THINK. And with my thoughts...comes DANGEROUS proportions.
Well, blog entries. :) Although I prefer to imbue (imbue!!!! HAH!! My favorite word...it sounds so funny!!! I'm sure that was out of context, but I just felt the need to use the word imbue) this blog as a Professional Journal without all the boredom/scientific terms/repetitiveness in my head.
I hope I don't sound like one of those generic youtubers (of which I've been studying way too many for makeup-learning-purposes for my job [OKAY AND for personal enjoyment] etc, etc. I hope they aren't rubbing off on me! Why do so many always start and end their videos the same way? And endorse things the same ways? Is it just a comfort-zone thing?)
OMG. *Slaps own wrist* Time to get with the program. (Considers deleting all of the above. But of course I won't because...I don't have to! :) I love that about this thing)
Working sort of in the doorway (well maybe like 8 inches AWAY from the doorway...but still NEAR the doorway) of the beauty industry (as a cashier lol), I've been thinking a lot lately about aging. And of course because it is MY brain, I had to turn innocent skin-care shopping into some sort of philosophical concept. Anyway, we all know this already, but clearly...blah blah...there's a lot of dread having to do with age.
But I don't think there has to be! :)
First of all:
.5) Gray hair is BEAUTIFUL. I just found my first five or six gray hairs the other day. They are all rather short, like they all decided to just grow in and decide to be gray a few weeks ago. 'Oh hello there Lyza, we are gray now, just decided a couple weeks ago, what's up!?' But they're really sparkly and silvery, which I rather like. And as long as we keep it healthy, I don't see how it's this horrible thing... if you keep your hair as soft and shiny as possible, what's wrong with gray hair? Dye it if you want...but I don't think it's something to be ashamed of. (Why did I put this as number one, like it's so important?? Please keep reading...hope I haven't lost anybody :P )
1) Every year, you get a bit wiser, a bit more comfortable with yourself, and a bit more intolerant to bullshit. Situations dealing with other people, time thinking to yourself, and thinking about how to handle these situations for the future simply does this to you naturally. Time does this. Time creates comfort in places that were new--life--and comfort allows you to be more open and honest about how you're really feeling. Time also allows you to be comfortable expressing when you're uncomfortable. You realize--I don't HAVE to feel bad about the opinions I am forming because someone told me I should. I feel this way based on the knowledge I accrued over time, and it makes a lot of sense that I feel this way. And because of that logic, you can feel proud expressing the thoughts you have, be they positive or negative. Even if they are wrong every once in a while--you can feel comfortable expressing your thoughts and comfortable negotiating different opinions and accepting when you are wrong--that is true maturity--and I know plenty of people of all ages, old or young, who are terrible at doing that, but it's part of self-growth and being a good person. I can't wait to see the Lyza I am ten years from now-because she sure is kicking it now. I'm thinking I'm about to be a B.O.S.S. Are you too?
I have heard that our mental stamina is at it's height in our mid-twenties...never to reach it's peak again. However, mid-twenties is still very young. It may be at it's height, but who is to say it is being put to good use? Everyone is a little different, everyone matures differently and I don't think that our supposed "mental decline," has to be so dramatic. We can NOT however, use our aging as an excuse to evade personal growth and still take true pride in who we are. We all know people who do this. If you want to truly be a decent person, you have to be compassionate for others, accept when you are wrong, and be open-minded to new ideas (last one being the hardest as our physical brains do lose plasticity, and therefore lose the ability to be open-minded, as we age...which is why I believe the terrible human traditions, are/have been so hard to break!).
My advice on your brain losing plasticity: The BEST thing you can do for your mental health is to make it a practice to be open-minded--every single day of every year. Put changing things up into practice--don't get too caught up in any routine and always allow yourself to hear opinions different from your own. It probably won't eradicate the problem--but it could only help.
2) Every year, you get better at knowing what you want, and how to say no to the things that you don't want. It seems pretty base--knowing what you want, but it's actually kind of hard to really know everything about what you want, at any age, because there's so many choices to be made about so many different things, that we can't really know until we attempt to make these choices, learn more about what we are about to do, or have the wisdom to know that certain things we are being advised to do simply aren't logical for us.
I had no idea I would hate college when I started it at age 18 or that it was corrupt for my elders at school to pressure us all to make such an impacting financial choice at such a young, impressionable age. I had no idea that some of my strengths would include being good at reading people, understanding situations, and problem-solving. I had no idea most of the people making others unhappy are unhappy themselves. And no idea how to handle those people when push comes to shove. I had no idea sometimes people stick to a terrible opinion just out of pride, and not because there's any real logic to it. 5 or 6 years ago it was harder for me to separate truth from opinion and to know who was selfish, who was well-meaning but wrong, and who was just using poor logic and needed an upgrade. I had no idea about tons of things just 5 or 6 years ago. But now that I know these things--I am standing at the tip of the iceberg on my life--on what I want, what will make me happy, and how I will and do handle situations when things inevitably get tough. And my logic makes me 100% comfortable standing up for my beliefs when someone disagrees with me. Beliefs should be formed through logical argument--not through others but through your own trains of thought and your own desire to be a good person. We're NOT going to be good at everything and we're NOT going to get everything right because we're human and part of maturity is accepting that and being able to be fine with it. ALSO--what makes you happy may NOT make someone else happy. But, when you know what the HELL you want for your own life and your own happiness, and you have good foundations for your beliefs--even if you have to be tough on people at first because they want you to be a different way--you make yourself and you make the world a better, more accepting and balanced place for everyone. That's just what the simple combination of logic, truth, and happiness does. It starts a chain-reaction of positivity--as long as you act on it. As time goes on, you do get better at putting yourself in a place where you are happier because of what you'll inevitably learn about yourself, and that's the wonderful thing about aging.
3.) Life gets easier when you know what you want and know how to act on it. I'm not saying you won't have as many or more problems than you do now, when you are older. But, when you're not like a lost baby bird, it certainly does help. Experience does bring about a certain calm on things that may have totally daunted you when you first started on them. It's like any new job... For instance, doing the loud-speaker announcements at my job used to give me terrible nerves...now I am actually excited to do them. You also learn how to pull yourself out of situations that are not right for you or good for you, which can be difficult all in it's own for some people, especially if you don't realize that they're not right. Hard things become easy...every new thing becomes a new opportunity, to scare yourself, to challenge yourself, and to realize that was scary to you in the past is actually not a big deal at all. So things in a way get easier--mainly because you know how to handle them better--that's the nature of experience.
ThankYOU. :)
That's all for now, I hope I helped, and I hate writing conclusion paragraphs.
EDIT: I'm re-reading this and I know some of my wording comes off as really hilarious...almost like a parody and not like something to be taken seriously (example: "...What the HELL you want..." I didn't want to professionalize this entry... I just wanted it to come off how I would say it in person, and a lot of times my intention is to make people laugh in addition to teaching them something. I have a very sarcastic sense of humor that I like to mix in on occasion when I feel I'm making a strong point, but read out loud I'm thinking this could sound kind of ridiculous. Hopefully the entry helped you in some way and I'm editing this like crazy today (just the day it was posted...it'll be completely final tomorrow...this is how I always do this). I need to stop submitting my entries so early. Most of the time they come out fantastically, but today's was a little jumbled and I should have waited before submitting it!!!
Friday, March 13, 2015
Tuesday, February 3, 2015
Follow Your OWN Values--Not The Ones You're Told To Follow
Why do you think you make the decisions you make?
Because you have to? Because you like to? Because you were told it was the right thing? Or because you actually thought it out yourself, thought out the results the decision would get you, thought out how you would feel after you made the decision, and thought out why your decision actually made the most sense to you and in accordance with your own values.
I have found more than a few times in my life that what everyone else tells me is the right thing, feels like the wrong thing for myself and my own reasoning. And usually when I take the time to explain why I chose to do an action, I'm given respect for it--even if who I am talking to would never do it themselves.
When I tell people my choices--I don't expect or desire any sort of conversion. I don't expect them to change their moral compass to one similar to mine. I don't even expect them to agree with me. I only expect respect. Respect for the fact that I take the time to logistically seek out what I want from my life and what makes me feel good about myself and what I am doing. And respect that their values are different from mine--and we can still co-exist.
I'll always respect someone with different values than mine if their path of logic is sensible and good-hearted. I especially like it when people aren't afraid to say that they feel differently than me, or anyone else for that matter, because it shows they have courage and believe in what they are doing. It's boring and unrefreshing to see people who clearly disagree, stay silent because they are afraid. What are they living for anyway? Clearly not their values--which are the most VALUABLE thing.
When people disagree with each other, but they respectfully tell each other why they disagree with each other, everyone learns something, as long as the two people are sensible and logical. We all can teach each other how to learn and grow by showing each other what we feel strongly is right, and why it is right. That's how new inventions are made and that's how people come together and grow together.
There will always be people out there who are a horrible combination of closed-minded and self-righteous. But guess what? Those are the people who do nothing for anyone else and are usually forgotten. Can you think of anyone in history who succeeded without making mistakes and admitting to them? Every person I can think of who we all respect now, fought for beliefs that were different than everyone elses, made mistakes and admitted to them, and had the courage to keep going, failure after failure. And inevitably, they taught everyone around them something new. Can you do that? Or do you want to keep doing what everyone else does, even though sometimes you feel it's not the right thing? (Granted, sometimes what everyone else is doing is actually the right thing. This entry is not about rebelling against people unnecessarily. It's about being a good person with a good foundation, using LOGIC.)
Here are some beliefs I have that completely don't match up with many of the people's around me. And while I do believe, in many cases, that the people around me are wrong, I accept that people are different me, and many have their own proper reasoning for why they feel the way they do.
I don't think that highschool children should be pressured to go to college, and especially not expensive ones.
--I wasted a ton of money going to college. I hated it, had health issues that prevented me from walking to class a lot of days, I dropped classes, and I eventually had to switch to a much more affordable community college. It was the utterly and completely, the biggest mistake I've ever made in my life, to go to college when A) I felt so unsure of what I wanted to do, and B) I had health issues that made walking to my classes extremely unrealistic for me. I also was pressured a lot by people important to me, that I in fact was NOT feeling as poorly as I was. I've had to put up with, frankly, a ton of ignorance and blind-sidedness to become the strong person I am today. What I conclude now from all of this is that college is NOT right for everyone. All it did for me, was drain me of my finances and make my life harder.
Furthermore, I don't think you have to have a fabulous job or be making middle-class/upper-class wages to be a respectable person.
--How much money you make or your college degree is no indication of your values. So you studied hard in school--that just means you have a good work-ethic. And while that's a good quality to have if you are doing something you believe in (if you're working hard to do something you hate, I don't see the point), it reveals nothing of what is actually important to you. Practically everyone in the country is telling their children to go to college--that college is success. What actually makes you successful as a person is, you guessed it, your personal values. What makes you happy, the love and the goodness you bring to the world, your care for your fellow man-kind, your open-mindedness, your inner-strength, your balance, your desire to prevent disagreement and bring knowledge to others...those are the REAL values, the stuff that counts. And they're reflected not by a college education, but by what you say to other people and how you treat them and the world around you.
Case-in-point: Do we need doctors? Yes. 100%. But I'll always respect a doctor more when they are down-to earth and don't act holier-than-thou. An arrogant doctor is an idiot doctor in my eyes. Because all they did is work their asses off to get to where they are. For all we know, a doctor could be doing their job for the money. They aren't showing us their true values until we get to know the person within.
Further, I believe you should be frightened of arrogance. Arrogance often-times is what creates issues like plunging into a situation because of confidence and then making mistakes because one was too confident and didn't weigh the costs of their decisions, and furthermore, arrogance often causes people to place blame on other factors, such as other people or the situation, even though the mistake was clearly made by the arrogant one themselves. People who are arrogant have stunted-self-growth, and usually become grown up children because they believe so heartily that they are right about things, that they don't see when they are wrong.
And unfortunately for humanity, we tend to be swayed by arrogance. When you see someone confidently endorsing something, you're more likely to grab it than someone who is shyly endorsing it. The shy person could be the one in the right, but because the other person displayed it confidently, you might make the wrong decision based on the fact that it was confidently portrayed to you. This is why your values are SO IMPORTANT. Using logic, they keep your feet on the ground and they keep you from being swayed by illusion. By being open-minded, they also help you grow.
So those are my thoughts on that.
Because you have to? Because you like to? Because you were told it was the right thing? Or because you actually thought it out yourself, thought out the results the decision would get you, thought out how you would feel after you made the decision, and thought out why your decision actually made the most sense to you and in accordance with your own values.
I have found more than a few times in my life that what everyone else tells me is the right thing, feels like the wrong thing for myself and my own reasoning. And usually when I take the time to explain why I chose to do an action, I'm given respect for it--even if who I am talking to would never do it themselves.
When I tell people my choices--I don't expect or desire any sort of conversion. I don't expect them to change their moral compass to one similar to mine. I don't even expect them to agree with me. I only expect respect. Respect for the fact that I take the time to logistically seek out what I want from my life and what makes me feel good about myself and what I am doing. And respect that their values are different from mine--and we can still co-exist.
I'll always respect someone with different values than mine if their path of logic is sensible and good-hearted. I especially like it when people aren't afraid to say that they feel differently than me, or anyone else for that matter, because it shows they have courage and believe in what they are doing. It's boring and unrefreshing to see people who clearly disagree, stay silent because they are afraid. What are they living for anyway? Clearly not their values--which are the most VALUABLE thing.
When people disagree with each other, but they respectfully tell each other why they disagree with each other, everyone learns something, as long as the two people are sensible and logical. We all can teach each other how to learn and grow by showing each other what we feel strongly is right, and why it is right. That's how new inventions are made and that's how people come together and grow together.
There will always be people out there who are a horrible combination of closed-minded and self-righteous. But guess what? Those are the people who do nothing for anyone else and are usually forgotten. Can you think of anyone in history who succeeded without making mistakes and admitting to them? Every person I can think of who we all respect now, fought for beliefs that were different than everyone elses, made mistakes and admitted to them, and had the courage to keep going, failure after failure. And inevitably, they taught everyone around them something new. Can you do that? Or do you want to keep doing what everyone else does, even though sometimes you feel it's not the right thing? (Granted, sometimes what everyone else is doing is actually the right thing. This entry is not about rebelling against people unnecessarily. It's about being a good person with a good foundation, using LOGIC.)
Here are some beliefs I have that completely don't match up with many of the people's around me. And while I do believe, in many cases, that the people around me are wrong, I accept that people are different me, and many have their own proper reasoning for why they feel the way they do.
I don't think that highschool children should be pressured to go to college, and especially not expensive ones.
--I wasted a ton of money going to college. I hated it, had health issues that prevented me from walking to class a lot of days, I dropped classes, and I eventually had to switch to a much more affordable community college. It was the utterly and completely, the biggest mistake I've ever made in my life, to go to college when A) I felt so unsure of what I wanted to do, and B) I had health issues that made walking to my classes extremely unrealistic for me. I also was pressured a lot by people important to me, that I in fact was NOT feeling as poorly as I was. I've had to put up with, frankly, a ton of ignorance and blind-sidedness to become the strong person I am today. What I conclude now from all of this is that college is NOT right for everyone. All it did for me, was drain me of my finances and make my life harder.
Furthermore, I don't think you have to have a fabulous job or be making middle-class/upper-class wages to be a respectable person.
--How much money you make or your college degree is no indication of your values. So you studied hard in school--that just means you have a good work-ethic. And while that's a good quality to have if you are doing something you believe in (if you're working hard to do something you hate, I don't see the point), it reveals nothing of what is actually important to you. Practically everyone in the country is telling their children to go to college--that college is success. What actually makes you successful as a person is, you guessed it, your personal values. What makes you happy, the love and the goodness you bring to the world, your care for your fellow man-kind, your open-mindedness, your inner-strength, your balance, your desire to prevent disagreement and bring knowledge to others...those are the REAL values, the stuff that counts. And they're reflected not by a college education, but by what you say to other people and how you treat them and the world around you.
Case-in-point: Do we need doctors? Yes. 100%. But I'll always respect a doctor more when they are down-to earth and don't act holier-than-thou. An arrogant doctor is an idiot doctor in my eyes. Because all they did is work their asses off to get to where they are. For all we know, a doctor could be doing their job for the money. They aren't showing us their true values until we get to know the person within.
Further, I believe you should be frightened of arrogance. Arrogance often-times is what creates issues like plunging into a situation because of confidence and then making mistakes because one was too confident and didn't weigh the costs of their decisions, and furthermore, arrogance often causes people to place blame on other factors, such as other people or the situation, even though the mistake was clearly made by the arrogant one themselves. People who are arrogant have stunted-self-growth, and usually become grown up children because they believe so heartily that they are right about things, that they don't see when they are wrong.
And unfortunately for humanity, we tend to be swayed by arrogance. When you see someone confidently endorsing something, you're more likely to grab it than someone who is shyly endorsing it. The shy person could be the one in the right, but because the other person displayed it confidently, you might make the wrong decision based on the fact that it was confidently portrayed to you. This is why your values are SO IMPORTANT. Using logic, they keep your feet on the ground and they keep you from being swayed by illusion. By being open-minded, they also help you grow.
So those are my thoughts on that.
Thursday, January 15, 2015
Where I'm Going, What I'm Saying.
It's been a while since I have wrote in here! I planned on writing a second half to that other entry, but I felt it would have been repetitive and I was uninspired by it, so I saved you guys the trouble. This isn't a college assignment, of which I feel are energy-sucking, time-consuming, and often an uninspired way to get people to have some sort of proof that they were paying attention, using all the wrong mechanisms to show what they've learned. Here, if I don't feel good about something, I'm dropping it. Not wasting valuable time and energy. And I apply that same notion to my entire life as well.
Lately, I have been making a lot of life changes and a lot of new adjustments. A lot of decisions, and a lot of deliberation are happening this year. It's going to be a pretty huge year for me, because I have some imperative and urgent choices to make. I'm trying to accept the fact that I need to be -okay- with it and just handle it--because whether I like it or not, the due dates are coming. However, I also know I am not REALLY okay with it. I have always hated being forced into a time-limit. I'm just trying to trick myself into not letting the stress get to me. But once it's handled, it will all be downhill from there. It's just the question of HOW to handle it. That's what is throwing me for a loop. I don't even know where. to. start. If there were a simple guidebook on all of this that was foolproof, I'd take care of it and it'd be overwith. I feel as if any wrong turn could dramatically alter my life in a negative way. And I'm handling it pretty well, all things considered. So there is that (sigh of relief).
Anyway, I think my entries from now-forth will be very similar to how they have been, as I am very much the same person, and although a shy, insecure person with those I'm unfamiliar with, I'm extremely secure privately in who I am, which these blogs should absolutely reflect. However, as I'm battling some things right now, you may also see more stuff on stress-management. The entries may have a more personal twist because I'm not only trying to guide you, but I am also using my own logic to help myself navigate life.
And yes, to those who know me in person, and hopefully those who are reading the blog can see this as well, I'll still be the same goofy, happy-go-lucky, adventurous person. That person who is absolutely NOT afraid to make a, "fool," of themselves or say something outlandish because some silly common norm dictates that is somehow, "wrong." I may blush, but deep down I'm always proud of everything I do that comes across as silly or embarrassing. Because I know that none of those things matter. And I know what actually DOES matter. And that's a lot more than what some person judging me by a joke I made can say.
Without values, you've got nothing.
So that is where I am right now :) And I do plan to write in here in the future, but I am not giving you a due date. I don't like those :)
Take care for now.
Lately, I have been making a lot of life changes and a lot of new adjustments. A lot of decisions, and a lot of deliberation are happening this year. It's going to be a pretty huge year for me, because I have some imperative and urgent choices to make. I'm trying to accept the fact that I need to be -okay- with it and just handle it--because whether I like it or not, the due dates are coming. However, I also know I am not REALLY okay with it. I have always hated being forced into a time-limit. I'm just trying to trick myself into not letting the stress get to me. But once it's handled, it will all be downhill from there. It's just the question of HOW to handle it. That's what is throwing me for a loop. I don't even know where. to. start. If there were a simple guidebook on all of this that was foolproof, I'd take care of it and it'd be overwith. I feel as if any wrong turn could dramatically alter my life in a negative way. And I'm handling it pretty well, all things considered. So there is that (sigh of relief).
Anyway, I think my entries from now-forth will be very similar to how they have been, as I am very much the same person, and although a shy, insecure person with those I'm unfamiliar with, I'm extremely secure privately in who I am, which these blogs should absolutely reflect. However, as I'm battling some things right now, you may also see more stuff on stress-management. The entries may have a more personal twist because I'm not only trying to guide you, but I am also using my own logic to help myself navigate life.
And yes, to those who know me in person, and hopefully those who are reading the blog can see this as well, I'll still be the same goofy, happy-go-lucky, adventurous person. That person who is absolutely NOT afraid to make a, "fool," of themselves or say something outlandish because some silly common norm dictates that is somehow, "wrong." I may blush, but deep down I'm always proud of everything I do that comes across as silly or embarrassing. Because I know that none of those things matter. And I know what actually DOES matter. And that's a lot more than what some person judging me by a joke I made can say.
Without values, you've got nothing.
So that is where I am right now :) And I do plan to write in here in the future, but I am not giving you a due date. I don't like those :)
Take care for now.
Wednesday, December 3, 2014
Part 1: My Response to 25 Disappointments You Deal With When You’re 25
Everybody I'm back :) I got a job, and finally have my first 2 day weekend in three weeks. All of the new activity has enveloped me and I've managed to not blog for quite a while now. I'm learning how to create a balance. But I still value this blog dearly. So keep expecting me back.
If anyone isn't aware here, I'm 25 years old. And if you are smart, you won't let that cloud how you see my views/motivations/thoughts in this blog. However, when I came upon this article today, I felt so passionately about my responses to each point, I decided it might be fun to share with you all how I feel in the blog. And then continue with my normal style of entries here on the blog--since those are really what I enjoy doing--guiding others, sharing with others, and giving some perspectives that aren't often shared--but are very important.
So, that concludes Part 1 of my response :) To see Part 2, wait 48 hours! :)
If anyone isn't aware here, I'm 25 years old. And if you are smart, you won't let that cloud how you see my views/motivations/thoughts in this blog. However, when I came upon this article today, I felt so passionately about my responses to each point, I decided it might be fun to share with you all how I feel in the blog. And then continue with my normal style of entries here on the blog--since those are really what I enjoy doing--guiding others, sharing with others, and giving some perspectives that aren't often shared--but are very important.
I did recall that I felt this way in highschool. That by 25, I'd have it all together and I'd be, I suppose, finally a 'Professional Adult.' What I've learned now is that, the, 'Professional Adult,' doesn't exist, regardless of what age you are. We all have our own strengths that excel beyond what people our age, and even much older ages can aspire to, some more than others. But we also have our faults. For instance, little considerations like moving the car seat back after using someone else's car sometimes escape me. Maybe this isn't an age thing, but a simple quirk, as I don't value the prospect of doing small things like this for other people as crucial, though when I remember to do it, I do it. I work in makeup now, something I adore doing, but the job is just a basic, foot in the door position. And while I am satisfied with that, the cloudy vision of a successful adult I had when I was 17 is much different now that I am 25. I don't believe that having your dream job makes you a successful person at all now, now that I'm 25. It makes you, possibly happier. But it's not something everyone gets to have. And it is NOT what defines you as a truly successful person. My fervent belief is that your success comes from within.1. Thinking that by 25, you’d be working your dream job.
Every month, every year, I find that I learn more about how little I actually know. If you are smart, you'll realize this too. With wisdom, comes the realization that there is more to discover. More to be open-minded to. More to accept, good or bad. In highschool, I used to think everything was solid when you were an adult, and I just didn't get life yet. Life is full of questions. Life is full of finding out about things that you didn't know or didn't realize--some of it truly valuable and a lot of it can be forgotten. And I've found, in the last few years, it isn't at all about how MUCH you know. It's about what you value. How you treat others. How kind you are. The loving way (or the scolding way, if needed--consider how crucial the situation actually is in the scheme of things) you stand up for what is right. Your open-mindedness. Your reasoning. Knowing not to obsess over the petty things or get upset about things that aren't important. Being able to let go of when other people make little mistakes based on their own insecurities. Having good judgement of other people's behavior, but not being judgmental of them. Those capabilities. There's no chart for it. You just have to reason and be open to different opinions, and accept you'll make mistakes, regardless of age. I make mistakes all the time, but I still firmly believe I am a successful adult. If you can balance all of that to the best of your capabilities, in my opinion, you're a successful adult.2. Coming to realize that you don’t know as much about the world as you thought you knew.
Yep.3. Finding out exactly how much of your paycheck is eaten up by taxes.
Maybe it's the independent side of me, but I honestly am thrilled with the idea of supporting myself, and have been thrilled with it for at least 5 years now. However, while I don't expect a fantasy, the prospect of the relief I will feel is exciting to me. The unnecessary amount of parental guilt trips I've tolerated, all the while fully knowing I'm handling things to the best of my capabilities in each scenario, provoked this from desire to need in me years ago. Not being able to support myself has only caused me much unhappiness, and for a while I truly felt helpless on how to turn things around, because my physical capabilities didn't always match with what was expected from me, so there didn't seem to be an easy way out. Maybe rather, my view of supporting myself isn't exactly a fantasy, but it's the release of a burden for me, the burden of having to listen to and feel bad about all of the, 'advice,' that didn't ring true for me because it was based on life experiences completely different than my own. I now no longer have to tolerate not being listened to or having my circumstances not considered (or even accepted) by those who I value. Just in getting a job, I've been so much happier, mainly because I am being treated with the respect I deserved all along. And it'd also be enjoyable to have my own house where I don't have to worry about upsetting someone because I left a plate on the couch. :) A cute quirk of the person who does this, nevertheless, I want my own place.4. Finding out that supporting yourself isn’t nearly as exciting as you thought it would be — before you actually had to support yourself.
5. Living on your own isn’t as glamorous as was expected.Hm, not sure I ever expected any home more than meager because I wasn't sure I'd ever find a job I'd enjoy enough to make good money from! :) I suppose in highschool, I dreamed of a fantasy. But it wasn't a new realization at age 25, for me. From a young age, I have always felt that you should never trade happiness for money. I didn't want to work hard in school and trade years of work and money for something I would be unhappy with, but had to stick to. I'm glad I pressed on. I'm finally seeing results, and even though, right now, they're small, I'm grateful. (But by no means did I miss out on the college loan train... See #12)
6. Having to accept that working just about always sucks.Pretty much. Even a dream job has its ups and downs. I have had this realization, because I did have an unrealistic view that many people enjoyed their jobs far more than I thought they did in the past. While I expected a job that wouldn't be the greatest, I was willing to do it if that meant I wouldn't be wasting valuable time and money on MORE college and loans for something I wouldn't want to do. However, now that I have a job I can actually see myself enjoying, it's still hard work. I didn't expect to be easy due to the nature of this foot-in-the-door job, but I'm noticing more and more that everyone I meet seems to be pretty drained after a work day--and in general.
7. Coming to accept that days are short and that there’s little time for things other than work and running personal errands.As we get older, days seem to get shorter and shorter. I feel as if time escapes me quickly every day, because I have so many ideas and dreams and things I want to do, they never get finished. Whereas when I was a child, days stretched on like miles before me. And while I am still young, I'm wondering where the time is flying to, because it seems I never have enough!
8. Being disappointed with the people you meet.Here is one that I actually DISAGREE with. I've found that ALMOST everyone seems to have a tic. A little thing you can do or say that gets them to start behaving kindly again. I am aware a lot of people are in a bad mood because they are unhappy, and it has nothing to do with me. And I'm also aware everyone has something new to teach me. So it's always my quest to cure with kindness and with being down-to-earth. People love it when you are real to them and you try to see things from their perspective. And they also appreciate when you are kind to them, even if they are not being kind to you. It doesn't always work, but when it does, it certainly makes you feel good. And I've found most people just want to be treated with kindness and respect, and they are angry because they feel that few will. There are some people who just behave so terribly, so closed-mindedly, so condescendingly, so rude and prejudice to others, that I have to scold their behavior, through words, in a way that will make them re-think their actions, and kindness will not do because it is not deserved. But I'm finding that, at least where I'm usually located, that hasn't been the case for 99.9% of people. And do you know how kindness cures? Sometimes you can fix a problem before it even starts. Just keep people informed, tell them why you are doing what you are doing, and be understanding and nice to them. It's hard to know that YOU aren't the reason for their behavior--and they feel the exact same way about you. So be as open and real about your actions as possible, all the while being kind--and it HELPS. :) We're all very different so I can't guarantee you won't be disappointed in someone else. But it's enjoyable to be kind to each other through our differences, and it helps us all be more accepting of one another.
I'm just going to say Yes for this one. I am accepting of people as people, but you are taking it to a whole other level when you ask me who I'll choose for a relationship partner. That's completely different. I may have to LIVE with them one day. You know what I'm saying? I don't think I'll ever find that person!!! It's been a struggle to the point I'm giving up on it.9. Being disappointed with your preferred sex.
10. Losing friends due to different life directions.I wouldn't say I've lost a lot of friends of recent, mainly because I haven't KEPT very many friends--the ones I lost, I lost long ago!!! I learned this lesson a while ago. You just get busy and forget. But the loyal ones, the ones who are understanding of who you are (even if you are both different) stand by no matter how much time has flown. I hope I can find friends I'm close enough to one day to spend more time with, but so far, it's been a struggle, one that I've accepted and am okay with.
11. Realizing that most of your friends are awful friends, and then cutting them out of your life.Would you consider me a braggart if I said that I've pretty much always been too good of a judge of character for this? Hasn't happened!!! If they were bad, I cut them out early. Like I said, we all have our strengths and weaknesses, regardless of what age we are, and I honestly think this is one of my strengths. If it's not yours, let me give you a hug and say that that is TOTALLY okay. You are cutting them out now, so good job :) You realized and you are fixing it. It wasn't your fault you didn't realize in the beginning, if you didn't know better, you didn't know better.
Already know, am passionate about, and fight against this subject. I feel children are pressured into this, and often they aren't given the guidance to know better than to attend places that are expensive when they aren't sure of what they want to do. It's a very impressionable time, and people are pressuring them in this time to spend THEIR money on something they may not even be happy about in the long run. Those loans are real, and they WILL kick you in the butt some day if you don't stay on top of them. If you aren't utterly certain and motivated about what you want to do, and if the result of your education doesn't guarantee a spot in a field that will give you the money to pay off the loans in an adequate time period, DO NOT go to an expensive college. The lack of education I was given on the price of my education absolutely shocks me. And it needs to be addressed EVERYWHERE.12. All that school debt that you still have to pay off — and will continue to have to pay off for a long time.
13. Realizing that your major only allows you to find jobs that, it turns out, you can’t stand doing.See above.
So, that concludes Part 1 of my response :) To see Part 2, wait 48 hours! :)
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
You Could Analyze Something To Death
September 8th?? September 8th was REALLY the last time I blogged?! So it's been 3 weeks. Time really, really flies guys. It doesn't matter what I am doing. I just feel like I'm going to be 100 tomorrow. I thought I'd blogged last a week ago!! Are you the same? I remember, as a kid, time used to feel like waiting for a turtle to lick up a puddle of molasses... Now I savor every moment because I feel they are disappearing like tiny grains of surface sand on a windy day. And maybe that's the point of this blog in a way... to focus on what's big to you, because the little disappears.
Was doing some research for my other blog, and was inspired by gradients. When one color fades into a different color, so seamlessly it almost looks like the two could be one uniform shade. And they could, if you backed away far enough.
I wanted to compare how an artist's gradient looked from farther away to how it looked very close up, and when I saw the close-up, it occurred to me I could see the lines of blending. It did not look seamless. But then it occurred to me, if I could fix the imperfections and unblended lines at the close-up, and was able to get an even larger close-up of the corrected close-up, you would still see more lines of blending. No matter how much you, "fix," something, the closer you get to it, the more imperfections you will see, down to the microscopic level. Until you can get to the tiniest point of existence, perfection does not exist.
So, you could spend a life-time trying your darndest to get the most, "perfect," thing, look the most, "perfect," way...Please notice, I often quote (or sometimes first-letter-capitalize) the words I don't stand by.
And when you had that perfect mesh of what you believe you're supposed to have, that gradient that may as well be one object, what have you?
Well, you have something that looks very nice.
Whether it holds moral value to you is another subject entirely.
Everything you work for, everything you do, none of it truly matters--unless it has moral value to you. Everything aside from love and happiness are just extras in your life. And when we keep trying to fix small things, we often are, point-blank, wasting our time. We, for some reason, are very good at blowing tiny interactions, tiny choices, tiny situations, completely out of proportion. And because we are giving that petty list of things meaning, whatever the list and whatever the meanings are, we focus on them and forget about what will truly fulfill us.
So when I say, "You Could Analyze Something To Death," in the blog-title, I mean it heartily. You could analyze all the tiny things that you feel need tweaked until finally, you have no more time left. In the end, will you appreciate the product of your work more than the experiences that it took to get you to that finished product?
Whether you are at a company balancing moral and sales, or at home balancing your life, this applies to you. People in your life will always tell you at certain points in the path, that something needs to be tweaked. You have to make the changes on it that are worthwhile to you. What will you be proud of more? How something looks, or the love and happiness you gave to get yourself there?
PS: This blog is my darling. I love writing in here, and I don't plan to stop making posts. I'll write in here at least once a month, if not more. Also, please feel free to ask me questions and give suggestions for topics you'd like me to discuss. :)
Was doing some research for my other blog, and was inspired by gradients. When one color fades into a different color, so seamlessly it almost looks like the two could be one uniform shade. And they could, if you backed away far enough.
I wanted to compare how an artist's gradient looked from farther away to how it looked very close up, and when I saw the close-up, it occurred to me I could see the lines of blending. It did not look seamless. But then it occurred to me, if I could fix the imperfections and unblended lines at the close-up, and was able to get an even larger close-up of the corrected close-up, you would still see more lines of blending. No matter how much you, "fix," something, the closer you get to it, the more imperfections you will see, down to the microscopic level. Until you can get to the tiniest point of existence, perfection does not exist.
So, you could spend a life-time trying your darndest to get the most, "perfect," thing, look the most, "perfect," way...Please notice, I often quote (or sometimes first-letter-capitalize) the words I don't stand by.
And when you had that perfect mesh of what you believe you're supposed to have, that gradient that may as well be one object, what have you?
Well, you have something that looks very nice.
Whether it holds moral value to you is another subject entirely.
Everything you work for, everything you do, none of it truly matters--unless it has moral value to you. Everything aside from love and happiness are just extras in your life. And when we keep trying to fix small things, we often are, point-blank, wasting our time. We, for some reason, are very good at blowing tiny interactions, tiny choices, tiny situations, completely out of proportion. And because we are giving that petty list of things meaning, whatever the list and whatever the meanings are, we focus on them and forget about what will truly fulfill us.
So when I say, "You Could Analyze Something To Death," in the blog-title, I mean it heartily. You could analyze all the tiny things that you feel need tweaked until finally, you have no more time left. In the end, will you appreciate the product of your work more than the experiences that it took to get you to that finished product?
Whether you are at a company balancing moral and sales, or at home balancing your life, this applies to you. People in your life will always tell you at certain points in the path, that something needs to be tweaked. You have to make the changes on it that are worthwhile to you. What will you be proud of more? How something looks, or the love and happiness you gave to get yourself there?
PS: This blog is my darling. I love writing in here, and I don't plan to stop making posts. I'll write in here at least once a month, if not more. Also, please feel free to ask me questions and give suggestions for topics you'd like me to discuss. :)
Monday, September 8, 2014
You're Not Normal, Thank God, So Quit Trying To Act Like It
I can totally relate to people who feel strange and different from everyone else.
I think you can too. Can't admit it?
You have never had times where you felt like you were the only person who felt a certain way about something? Like no one else who you were talking to could relate to it?
You never had a time in your life where what you wanted wasn't what everyone around you wanted? Whether it be out of you or whether it be something that a lot of people want (Like children? A certain career motive? College? Or a puppy? Or even chocolate? *Gasps*)?
Ever laughed at something that nobody else in the room thought was funny?
Or getting down to basics, there isn't some strange food combination that you really like, that nobody else would dare eat?
No?? Goodness, you are really boring......
I know I HAVE felt this way, and may I say I am a little proud of it?
No, I'm actually a LOT proud of it. And you should be too. That's the stuff that makes you interesting. The stuff that people don't expect.
There's nobody I love more than the so-called, "strange," ones. The ones who feel like they don't fit in.
The ones who, in actuality, aren't afraid to behave completely normal. The real normal. The one that is human, has emotions, and isn't afraid to express themselves instead of repress themselves to fit into a man-made category that our ancestors have been imposing on us for hundreds, if not thousands of years.
You see, normalcy is something that we often expect, but we never actually know. It's phony. It's not real. And the unhappiest people of all are those who try to be it--because they consistently fail--and/or--they constantly expect it out of other people, judging them, and generally living a miserable existence full of negativity and hypocrisy.
In my book...you can be happy...or you can be, "normal."
Go live your life!!!!! Parachute or something... Laugh your ass off at something no one else in the room will. You only live once. Live well. Don't put yourself in a box because you are afraid. You'll only trap yourself.
*Laughs*...Sigh...ohhh... "Normal."
It's so overrated.
Have fun :)
I think you can too. Can't admit it?
You have never had times where you felt like you were the only person who felt a certain way about something? Like no one else who you were talking to could relate to it?
You never had a time in your life where what you wanted wasn't what everyone around you wanted? Whether it be out of you or whether it be something that a lot of people want (Like children? A certain career motive? College? Or a puppy? Or even chocolate? *Gasps*)?
Ever laughed at something that nobody else in the room thought was funny?
Or getting down to basics, there isn't some strange food combination that you really like, that nobody else would dare eat?
No?? Goodness, you are really boring......
I know I HAVE felt this way, and may I say I am a little proud of it?
No, I'm actually a LOT proud of it. And you should be too. That's the stuff that makes you interesting. The stuff that people don't expect.
There's nobody I love more than the so-called, "strange," ones. The ones who feel like they don't fit in.
The ones who, in actuality, aren't afraid to behave completely normal. The real normal. The one that is human, has emotions, and isn't afraid to express themselves instead of repress themselves to fit into a man-made category that our ancestors have been imposing on us for hundreds, if not thousands of years.
You see, normalcy is something that we often expect, but we never actually know. It's phony. It's not real. And the unhappiest people of all are those who try to be it--because they consistently fail--and/or--they constantly expect it out of other people, judging them, and generally living a miserable existence full of negativity and hypocrisy.
In my book...you can be happy...or you can be, "normal."
Go live your life!!!!! Parachute or something... Laugh your ass off at something no one else in the room will. You only live once. Live well. Don't put yourself in a box because you are afraid. You'll only trap yourself.
*Laughs*...Sigh...ohhh... "Normal."
It's so overrated.
Have fun :)
Thursday, September 4, 2014
It's Okay To Ride Up To A Dead End...
There might be a beautiful sunset there.
Or there may not be. It's still perfectly okay.
I like to go on bike rides in the evening sometimes when the sun is setting. I'll ride as far away as I can from the sun, maybe 20-40 minutes before the sun sets, and then, when I see it start to set, as fast as I can, I ride my bike to the closest view possible of the sunset. It's my time to look at everything around me, feel everything around me, and take nothing for granted. It's also exhilarating!
Today when I was doing this, I noticed something about myself. I got nervous every time I got close to a dead end. Worried, that because I didn't know if there would be another road around the corner, that people might laugh at my bad directional skills.
How silly this is, yet I've clearly been trained to do this. We all do this at points in our lives. We don't want to be seen doing something that might look foolish, when actually, what we should feel foolish about--is the fact that we feel foolish to begin with about whatever we are doing. Would you feel foolish doing it if you were on your own and no one else knew about it? There comes a point where you have to realize that it doesn't MATTER what people think. Do what makes you happy. So many of us choose to go the safe route. The one where we know people will not judge us. This is often at the sacrifice of our own happiness. Why miss out on the things that we enjoy simply because other people, usually ignorant of our intentions and quick to judge, waste their time making uninformed conclusions about us (instead of focusing on what is actually important in life--even more of a reason to not care about what those people think). As long as we aren't harming others, it really doesn't matter one flip what others have to say about what we are doing.
The most adventurous path, the path that is right for you, is not always on the road where people travel. You might end up in a valley staring at the sky for a while. Or you might end up lost, or working really hard to find yourself in a better place. Or you may take a wrong turn at a dead end. But the last thing you should be doing is worrying what others think about it. Make the life choices, and the little choices, that are going to make you the most happy. You cannot base these off of what other people think of you without sacrificing some happiness along the way. The biggest regrets are lost chances. Do you truly regret that you chose not to achieve something you did not want to do just because other people wanted you to? Priorities need to be rearranged... YOUR life is about YOUR happiness. Not others. Things you could have done to improve your life--for YOU--that you missed out on, should be your only regrets, if any. So go for it!!
(Of course, please try to be conscious and help animals, the world, and humanity while you are at it. Little choices count.)
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