Thursday, July 6, 2017

The Power of Confidence-- Technical Language and How It Affects Public Perception

I am not a victim.

I can say that without any doubt in my mind, without any hesitation, without feeling silly.  It is a fact.  1 + 1 =2.  I am not a victim.  Pass the butter.

When one has confidence, the need to persuade others of something lessens.  This is because your care of how they feel is lesser than someone without confidence.  You see, your confidence often directly correlates with how you think people treat you.  Understand that sentence: "How you think people treat you."  How you think people treat you is what affects your confidence, not how they actually treat you.  Your perception of how you are treated is what defines your internal level of confidence.  You define it.  How other people treat you actually, has no affect on that.

Why is this?

Walk into an empty room.  Do you feel worried about how you look, sound, or behave?  Most likely, the answer to that is no.  Nobody is there to judge it.

Walk into a room full of people and ask that question again.  This defines your confidence level.  Now ask yourself what you think people think about you, namely the things you WORRY about when you are around other people.  Do they overshadow everything positive that you believe people think of you?  This too, defines your confidence level.

You see, it is your perception, and not necessarily reality, that affects your confidence level and your view of the world.

If you say, humbly, but with conviction, "I am not a victim,"--very good on it's own--but then, you proceed to give a bunch of reasons why.  This can actually discredit you.  Silence is incredibly powerful.  You can win over every person in the human race with a short and sweet statement followed by silence.  Every reason you give for a statement you make, can be discredited, can be disagreed with.  A simple statement followed by silence creates a window for any belief system to fill in the blanks for you.  It is THEIR perception that is now formulating the reasoning behind your actions.  The human mind is wired to find the reasoning behind why a choice is made.  When you make a statement and give no reasoning behind it, those who do care enough to have an opinion, will fill in the blanks for you.  You don't have to do anything, and often, because most people are wired to believe people are making decisions logically, this is to your benefit.  Whatever you choose to say, people are more likely to believe it when it is to the point, and not weighted with reasoning.  Unless of course you are writing a news report, but we are referring to the conveying of the self.

"I'm not a victim because I am a very energetic person, I love life, I don't care what people think, and I am physically and mentally strong."
Through this, what you are conveying to the average listener is that you feel the need to defend yourself because you are a victim.

I am not a victim.  Period.  Point blank.  With conviction, but without emotion.  It's very hard to argue against a statement with no reasons.  Anything short and sweet like that, often becomes a fact in the human mind.  It's too hard to argue against.  You didn't let your emotions--which often are chemical and have nothing to do with the truth-- get in the way of what you are trying to convey, and you didn't let reasons discredit you.

The beauty in this is that you do not HAVE to give reasons for who you are.  Who you are, is who you are.  For instance:  We are all born with certain traits.  I have brown hair.  I don't have to explain that to people.  I could say, "I have naturally brown hair," and that would suffice for most people.  But some people take it a step further.  "I have naturally brown hair.  It is genetic."  Did you need to say that it is genetic?  No, it's overkill at this point.  And it comes off defensive, like you are worried about what people are thinking.  Have confidence.  "I have naturally brown hair."  You don't have to give any explanation.

Another point that needs to be driven is that people do not deserve your explanation.  Nobody is entitled to the reasoning behind why I do what I do.  Nobody.  If I want to eat a salad today, I'm going to.  I don't have to tell you why.  If I like the color green, I like it.  I don't have to tell you why.  If I wear a pink dress, I'm wearing a pink dress.  I don't have to have a reason for it and I certainly don't have to give you one for it.  Hell, there may be NO reason for it.  Maybe you grabbed it--dresses are a hell of a lot easier to throw on and run out the door in, than putting together an outfit.  "I wore a pink dress because it is pretty."  For some people, that will suffice, for others, they now think you put it on to impress people (and they may think that regardless, but your reason, which was highly unnecessary, is converted in the brain to become an excuse--excuses and reasons tie together, they go hand in hand with unraveling an argument or discrediting what a person is saying).  Do you see how reasoning can discredit people sometimes?  More often than not, not only do you do NOT need to share a reason for what you are doing, but that reason can often hurt you!  Some things are not WORTH sharing reasons for.  Some things have to be owned.  Wear the pink dress.  Own it.  Do not give a damn.  It's as simple as that.

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